So after Oma has seen Dylan in such positive light for a couple of days, she gets to experience his crying / drama too.
SWIMMING FUN
On Sunday after church, we went to our usual Keppel club swimming. Dylan was of course elated and couldn't wait so I changed him first and he started playing in the wading pool first. However, as I returned after having changed to my swimming costume, I found Dad bringing him back. He had run off to the jacuzzi which is at the far end up a slope on his own! As Dad let go of his hand when they reached the kids' pool, he again made a run for it. So when they came back, I told him as he did not stop but ran off on his own, he'll have to sit for 5 minutes. He sat with us (my hand on his lap), and he didn't struggle much, and decided to eat a little with us. Subsequently after swimming with me using swimming noodles to the far end, he again tried running off, and did not respond to my demand for him to "stop", I ran after him & we sat down for 5 mins as his time-out. He accepted it.
I noticed that when I walked to the jacuzzi with him, and he's way ahead and pulling me & I stop, even though it's a place he's so keen on, he stops and considers a while, and backtrack to join me. Must say this would not have been possible in the past. Also, despite not having armbands, he's confident to jump into the water with me. We didn't film this, but as I stop and decided to go to another spot to jump, he goes along, and didn't struggle.
After we swam and soaked in the jacuzzi, and we thought for sure he would have a good nap when we went home and he has his rice milk, but he didn't after an hour. So I decided we shall all go shopping, since Oma had requested.
RESTAURANT DRAMA
Not too unexpectedly, he fell asleep (notwithstanding the noise) in his old stroller which has been tucked away for months. So we could shop easily. But the unfortunate thing was he slept from 6-8pm, and as he woke in a Japanese restaurant, he started crying, very loudly. He screamed his lungs out & wanted to be carried, and not allow me to sit down. He also pulled my bag and shove into my hands, indicating I should take it and go out. No amount of huddling would stop the crying, so I had no choice but to bring him out, and he continued the frantic crying for another 30 minutes. I tried praying with him/ for him & it didn't stop. I noticed unlike in the past, I don't feel desperate and know the storm will tide over, in his time. I hushed him and hugged his head to me, but I told him I can't carry him till he calms down and stop crying. I told him not to be scared, although we're in a different place, mommy's here, and that only he can calm himself down.
Finally as his crying ease off, I brought him to walk some stairs, to be sure he's stable. It helps greatly and he finally broke into big smiles and we returned to the restaurant. Though he didn't eat much, as the tempura ordered for him is no longer crispy, and we ordered something else for him, he looked happy and kept looking over the other table, and in Oma's word, was flirting with a little girl.
Then last night, notwithstanding a great time playing 2 new 24-piece puzzles and a nice walk with me and Oma, he again cried very hard for half an hour at bedtime, and only slept at 1am.
Oh by the way, I only discovered on Sunday that his headphones are damaged (no sound on the right). No wonder he rejects them. Got them fixed yesterday (cost $55 - ouch! but thankfully the Sennheiser service personnel are very helpful) and hopefully now the Samonas therapy (Nocturne) can help him with sense of security.
Awaiting for the storm to be fully over!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
New Progress & Oma's visit
After the last "spiritual experience" /episode I wrote about, the following day (4 Dec) Dylan had another crying episode. This time we were trying to get him interested in riding on the bike, now that we managed to pump the deflated tires with the new pump. However he wasn't interested. Mel & I brought him downstairs, thinking he will for sure recall the fun he had on it before. He was quite crazy over it when we just bought the bikes. But whether it's me cycling circling around, or Mel, it just didn't get him excited. So we gave it up & I requested Mel to bring the bike home & it's time with mommy to go walking. He started feeling insecure & started to cry.
He really wanted to go home but followed me up the flight of stairs towards the community club where there's a favourite playground nearby, still crying. He kept running back about 10 steps from me towards our block, but came back to me when I didn't follow him. After crying about half an hour at the nearby exercise corner, I thought he needed to go wee-wee so suggested bringing him to the community club toilet, but he didn't want to go. Then I said I needed to go and please to let me go, even if he didn't need to. First he prevented me, but when he saw that I was still going, he followed me, holding my t-shirt, and stopped crying. We then actually managed to have a nice short walk, and I gave him a short break at another playground.
From that day onwards, there's no more major crying episodes. Hallelujah! I'm so glad also as Juergen's mom is coming over on 14 Dec to stay with us for 3 weeks, and what trauma it would be for her if he continues like this! But thank God he feels secure again, and particpates keenly on our walk and stair-climbing again!
But we do have a new issue since the previous RDI on 1 Dec when we fed the swans & tortoises, as Dylan thinks it's fun to throw things - on that day he threw his chewy tube/hammer which the tortoises tried to covet & which Juergen and park-ranger so heroically retrieved, & he's thrown half-eaten sweet potato from the second floor of Vivo mall, in the cab, unknown stuff downstairs, smashed a bottle of medicine, when previously he would only knock gently on the floor to hear the sound etc. Anyway, we decided not to practice the throwing bread to feed exercise for sender-receiver framework for now.
Then Juergen also fed back to me one day (after Dylan's unsuccessful speech assessment on 11 Dec at AAS, unsuccessful as he was unwilling/unable to point to pictures of objects he's asked to identify, although he did quite consistently pick out the right toys for the assessor) of how much imperative speech & scolding I was into, saying ouch when Dylan steps on me/pull my hair, sometimes going back to my old ways of talking non-stop that he suggested I record myself for half an hour. Anyway, I guess I couldn't accept immediately but realised it's a good thing he pointed that out so I could go back interacting with Dylan in a more reflected (& non-reactive) way. I also took the chance to tell him we really need & request him to be present (body, mind & spirit) with us more often, and I think it was well-taken.
I also had a sort of crisis as my attempt to arrange to work part-time at my current job doesn't seem to be feasible currently.
Since Mom's stay with us 2 days ago, everything's been generally good & peaceful. We have more meals together, and even though Dylan still rather stands on his seat to eat, he doesn't run off so often. We went to Sentosa for a beachside walk after dinner, on Mom's day of arrival, yesterday we went to McRitichie - good thing we gave up on the idea of doing 10km walk as Dylan wasn't really ready to walk long distances, and wanted to be carried quite shortly into the boardwalk.
The progress I noticed is that he's able to take more variations - like my jogging/running then suddenly stop. Sometimes he tries to initiate and run very fast I may go along for a short while, but if I find he's initiating and just expecting me to catch up, I would stop. When he also stops & realises he's ahead of me, he would think for a while & even be able to take 1 or 2 steps towards me! It's really great to see that!
Also at the beach, even though he really wanted to sit in the sand or step further into deeper waters but I stop him, and told him we cannot swim tonite - it's too dark & we're not prepared I told him, see, we have no swiming costume), he would restrain his urge and just stand at the edge of the waters, and kick water instead. He's really come a long way and I'm so proud of him!
Last nite at the exercise corner, I noticed he's much more willing to let me help him with the different exercises. Whereas previously he would run off the moment I come over to assist him. While he still sometimes want to touch say parts meant for the feet & I told him no, it's for stepping on, he would not persist in the touching but instead step on it. He's also more coordinated in the "rower" & even the exercise where one sits (he stands) & pull the handle bars down to raise oneself! He stayed regulated, and let's me help him push all the way down, as he's still not strong enough to go all the way.
The biggest bonus last night was that after a fun neighbourhood walk to the exercise corner & he's feeling really happy with himself, in the lift I squatted to be at eye-level with him & I told him how much I enjoyed the walk together with him, daddy & oma, & I told him I love him & I pucker my lips & say kiss, he leaned over and have his lips touch/kiss mine, & when he let go & I puckered my lips again, his again gave me his lips & this kissing (regulatory pattern) was repeated several times. I'm really elated!
Oh yes, almost forgot to update that since our first session at Jinshin Jyutsu (pronounced jitsu) on 8 Dec (before the RDI home visit session), Mel & I have been doing certain exercises with Dylan when he sleeps (exercise involves our holding a finger & toe 5 mins each till all 10 are done) & we can feel his pulses & I'm wondering if this has contributed to his improvement.
By the way, I also notice Dylan's repertoire of foods he eats increasing- in fact, last night I noted he's eating all the stuff in his plate, which is exactly as we are eating except for the raw veggie salad (beef, broccoli, sweet peas, mushrooms, brown rice) and not his usual faves of fried chicken. This is really great!
He really wanted to go home but followed me up the flight of stairs towards the community club where there's a favourite playground nearby, still crying. He kept running back about 10 steps from me towards our block, but came back to me when I didn't follow him. After crying about half an hour at the nearby exercise corner, I thought he needed to go wee-wee so suggested bringing him to the community club toilet, but he didn't want to go. Then I said I needed to go and please to let me go, even if he didn't need to. First he prevented me, but when he saw that I was still going, he followed me, holding my t-shirt, and stopped crying. We then actually managed to have a nice short walk, and I gave him a short break at another playground.
From that day onwards, there's no more major crying episodes. Hallelujah! I'm so glad also as Juergen's mom is coming over on 14 Dec to stay with us for 3 weeks, and what trauma it would be for her if he continues like this! But thank God he feels secure again, and particpates keenly on our walk and stair-climbing again!
But we do have a new issue since the previous RDI on 1 Dec when we fed the swans & tortoises, as Dylan thinks it's fun to throw things - on that day he threw his chewy tube/hammer which the tortoises tried to covet & which Juergen and park-ranger so heroically retrieved, & he's thrown half-eaten sweet potato from the second floor of Vivo mall, in the cab, unknown stuff downstairs, smashed a bottle of medicine, when previously he would only knock gently on the floor to hear the sound etc. Anyway, we decided not to practice the throwing bread to feed exercise for sender-receiver framework for now.
Then Juergen also fed back to me one day (after Dylan's unsuccessful speech assessment on 11 Dec at AAS, unsuccessful as he was unwilling/unable to point to pictures of objects he's asked to identify, although he did quite consistently pick out the right toys for the assessor) of how much imperative speech & scolding I was into, saying ouch when Dylan steps on me/pull my hair, sometimes going back to my old ways of talking non-stop that he suggested I record myself for half an hour. Anyway, I guess I couldn't accept immediately but realised it's a good thing he pointed that out so I could go back interacting with Dylan in a more reflected (& non-reactive) way. I also took the chance to tell him we really need & request him to be present (body, mind & spirit) with us more often, and I think it was well-taken.
I also had a sort of crisis as my attempt to arrange to work part-time at my current job doesn't seem to be feasible currently.
Since Mom's stay with us 2 days ago, everything's been generally good & peaceful. We have more meals together, and even though Dylan still rather stands on his seat to eat, he doesn't run off so often. We went to Sentosa for a beachside walk after dinner, on Mom's day of arrival, yesterday we went to McRitichie - good thing we gave up on the idea of doing 10km walk as Dylan wasn't really ready to walk long distances, and wanted to be carried quite shortly into the boardwalk.
The progress I noticed is that he's able to take more variations - like my jogging/running then suddenly stop. Sometimes he tries to initiate and run very fast I may go along for a short while, but if I find he's initiating and just expecting me to catch up, I would stop. When he also stops & realises he's ahead of me, he would think for a while & even be able to take 1 or 2 steps towards me! It's really great to see that!
Also at the beach, even though he really wanted to sit in the sand or step further into deeper waters but I stop him, and told him we cannot swim tonite - it's too dark & we're not prepared I told him, see, we have no swiming costume), he would restrain his urge and just stand at the edge of the waters, and kick water instead. He's really come a long way and I'm so proud of him!
Last nite at the exercise corner, I noticed he's much more willing to let me help him with the different exercises. Whereas previously he would run off the moment I come over to assist him. While he still sometimes want to touch say parts meant for the feet & I told him no, it's for stepping on, he would not persist in the touching but instead step on it. He's also more coordinated in the "rower" & even the exercise where one sits (he stands) & pull the handle bars down to raise oneself! He stayed regulated, and let's me help him push all the way down, as he's still not strong enough to go all the way.
The biggest bonus last night was that after a fun neighbourhood walk to the exercise corner & he's feeling really happy with himself, in the lift I squatted to be at eye-level with him & I told him how much I enjoyed the walk together with him, daddy & oma, & I told him I love him & I pucker my lips & say kiss, he leaned over and have his lips touch/kiss mine, & when he let go & I puckered my lips again, his again gave me his lips & this kissing (regulatory pattern) was repeated several times. I'm really elated!
Oh yes, almost forgot to update that since our first session at Jinshin Jyutsu (pronounced jitsu) on 8 Dec (before the RDI home visit session), Mel & I have been doing certain exercises with Dylan when he sleeps (exercise involves our holding a finger & toe 5 mins each till all 10 are done) & we can feel his pulses & I'm wondering if this has contributed to his improvement.
By the way, I also notice Dylan's repertoire of foods he eats increasing- in fact, last night I noted he's eating all the stuff in his plate, which is exactly as we are eating except for the raw veggie salad (beef, broccoli, sweet peas, mushrooms, brown rice) and not his usual faves of fried chicken. This is really great!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Peace after the storm
Last night I came home to find Dylan at the kitchen table, having eaten partially 4-5 pieces of fried chicken, and running off his high chair, and going off to grab another 2 (the last) from another plate. We subsequently moved his plate to the dining table to join me, and for a short while, it's really nice, as he also feeds himself using the spoon to shovel his rice. He likes the organic brown rice mixed with Nordic Natural Cod liver oil, and potassium salt (he'd be happy with regular salt too). Only issue is after sitting for a while, he likes to stand up and eat from the standing position, which is not only unsafe, and keep us on our guard to protect him from falling over, he also drops more food due to the longer distance for the food to reach his mouth. Then he really doesn't want to sit down due to the messy chair. Attempts to keep him seated results in struggles and he may even rather just jump off the chair & run off.
Anyway, as it seemed like he had enough, I turned on his previously favourite video, Richard Scary's Counting video but he decided to stay on to eat some more. After dinner, he went over with Mel to sit at the sofa to watch the rest of the video and became very interested, looking keenly, recalling and swaying to the music. He hasn't appeared the least interested in videos for a long time. And Mel's recent attempts to calm him using videos didn't work. After I'm done, I played with him, letting him do his favourite puzzles and later letting him swing - his preference is to lie on the swing on his tummy and kick very hard and swing really high. But last night when obstructed from swinging on the tummy (and told he can swing seated/ standing up), he cooperated quite readily and sat down, and looked at me very keenly as I pulled the swing seat towards me, and let go.
Anyway, as he woke early yesterday, and only slept on the bus journey home (waking upon reaching home), he got tired when it was past 8.30 pm. I tried to interested him to help me pump air in the bicycle tires so that we could ride it a while. But he started crying and calling for "Arty", wanting me to open the kitchen door which was locked. Then the crying escalated, as I firmly told him first he has to stop crying, and Aunty was doing housework in the kitchen. Now is time with mommy.
I tried to bring him to climb stairs to regulate him, and he did monitor me sometimes, but he continued crying. I told him I'll bring you home but first you have to calm down and stop crying, otherwise we cannot go home. Anyway, we ended up downstairs at the exercise corner -where he usually enjoys the monkey bar with my help, but he cried so loud and hard for an hour. In between when he's only sobbing & seems to be calming down, he actually wanted to do the monkey bar with my help. I'm not sure if he thought that's what I wanted him to do so let's get it out of the way so we can go home.
At various points I really felt at my wits' end - I could see some lower floor neighbours looking out the window & I think the whole 2 adjacent blocks can hear - we stay on the 21st floor & Mel could hear it loud and clear too. Anyway, at one point when I was trying to relax at the bench & he was standing on the bench facing me (so we were about eye-level), I could see he was frantic, with eyes looking all over, and I used my palms as blinders so he'll look at me. He still tried to look left & right upwards, but eventually looked into my eyes, I managed to get his attention to pray together. I asked him to pray after me: "Dear Jesus" & he said "dee jiser" and even though he didn't continue to imitate what I say afterwards asking Jesus to protect him & keep him safe and secure, he stopped his crying completely and was calm and at peace. After the prayer, I hugged him and assured him that I truly love him and I carried him upstairs. He rested his head very peacefully over my shoulder. There wasn't even sobbing vs earlier on when he continued to cry & scream even when I carried him. (When I told Jürgen about this amazing miracle, he called it Dylan's spiritual experience.)
Even when we reached home, he cooperated in letting me help him wash up and brush teeth and that night he was peaceful. After I washed up & came to join him to say a goodnite prayer, he let me huddle him, and wanted me to stay. It was kinda cute, when I or Mel raised our heads to talk to each other (as we were on two sides of Dylan), he wanted us both to lie down. At least I know he's not angry with me but accepts me and know that I love him. Thank God!
He slept well and woke without crying this morning, and he got a bonus, riding the cab to school (at least part of the jorney) with Daddy. Praying that this peace remains with him.
Anyway, as it seemed like he had enough, I turned on his previously favourite video, Richard Scary's Counting video but he decided to stay on to eat some more. After dinner, he went over with Mel to sit at the sofa to watch the rest of the video and became very interested, looking keenly, recalling and swaying to the music. He hasn't appeared the least interested in videos for a long time. And Mel's recent attempts to calm him using videos didn't work. After I'm done, I played with him, letting him do his favourite puzzles and later letting him swing - his preference is to lie on the swing on his tummy and kick very hard and swing really high. But last night when obstructed from swinging on the tummy (and told he can swing seated/ standing up), he cooperated quite readily and sat down, and looked at me very keenly as I pulled the swing seat towards me, and let go.
Anyway, as he woke early yesterday, and only slept on the bus journey home (waking upon reaching home), he got tired when it was past 8.30 pm. I tried to interested him to help me pump air in the bicycle tires so that we could ride it a while. But he started crying and calling for "Arty", wanting me to open the kitchen door which was locked. Then the crying escalated, as I firmly told him first he has to stop crying, and Aunty was doing housework in the kitchen. Now is time with mommy.
I tried to bring him to climb stairs to regulate him, and he did monitor me sometimes, but he continued crying. I told him I'll bring you home but first you have to calm down and stop crying, otherwise we cannot go home. Anyway, we ended up downstairs at the exercise corner -where he usually enjoys the monkey bar with my help, but he cried so loud and hard for an hour. In between when he's only sobbing & seems to be calming down, he actually wanted to do the monkey bar with my help. I'm not sure if he thought that's what I wanted him to do so let's get it out of the way so we can go home.
At various points I really felt at my wits' end - I could see some lower floor neighbours looking out the window & I think the whole 2 adjacent blocks can hear - we stay on the 21st floor & Mel could hear it loud and clear too. Anyway, at one point when I was trying to relax at the bench & he was standing on the bench facing me (so we were about eye-level), I could see he was frantic, with eyes looking all over, and I used my palms as blinders so he'll look at me. He still tried to look left & right upwards, but eventually looked into my eyes, I managed to get his attention to pray together. I asked him to pray after me: "Dear Jesus" & he said "dee jiser" and even though he didn't continue to imitate what I say afterwards asking Jesus to protect him & keep him safe and secure, he stopped his crying completely and was calm and at peace. After the prayer, I hugged him and assured him that I truly love him and I carried him upstairs. He rested his head very peacefully over my shoulder. There wasn't even sobbing vs earlier on when he continued to cry & scream even when I carried him. (When I told Jürgen about this amazing miracle, he called it Dylan's spiritual experience.)
Even when we reached home, he cooperated in letting me help him wash up and brush teeth and that night he was peaceful. After I washed up & came to join him to say a goodnite prayer, he let me huddle him, and wanted me to stay. It was kinda cute, when I or Mel raised our heads to talk to each other (as we were on two sides of Dylan), he wanted us both to lie down. At least I know he's not angry with me but accepts me and know that I love him. Thank God!
He slept well and woke without crying this morning, and he got a bonus, riding the cab to school (at least part of the jorney) with Daddy. Praying that this peace remains with him.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Dylan's crying sprees
While sharing with Gen on our recent session (1 Dec) at Botanic Gardens (sender-receiver framework of feeding bread to tortoises & swans) about Dylan's crying sprees, I realise I haven't blogged for the entire month of November, and on relooking at my calendar, I note that his insecurity & crying started around the beginning of November. I was on 2 days PersonPlanet Leadership course at SMU 3-4 Dec (9am-9pm). He was like an angel when we arrived together on day 1, smiling so sweetly & being friendly to Joo Hock, Monica & Annabella. He also seemed quite happy exhibiting his confident self, sitting at his table at the back with our helper Mel, scribbling with the crayons that Monica had so nicely prepared for him. He did make some happy sounds, mostly murmurings / mono-syllabic sounds while seated but was co-operative. But after half an hour or so of the session's commencement, he started getting excited & running off to "mingle" around the other tables, and Mel, to avert him turning disruptive, packed up & brought him out.
He was very unhappy about the pre-mature departure and apparently put up a struggle and cried quite a bit even at the corridors of SMU.
Anyway, after that morning, I hardly got to see him that day and the next. The following Mon & Tue were my usual working days, with me accompanying him at AAS on Mon afternoon. Then Wed-Fri 7-9 Nov I was away to Hanoi for my department's teambuilding. That evening when I came home at 7pm we had a good time together.
But somehow, since that period, Dylan seems to have been very insecure and cries very loudly & inconsolably for 20 or 30 mins & sometimes on & off for a whole hour. More recently, he would keep looking at the swing and cry till Mel relents and sit on the swing with him. Today, they even swing for 50 mins. Any attempt to stand up he may burst out crying.
Also, lately at busstops or sometimes even at home, he would insist that Mel carry the backpack while holding him, standing up or sitting on the swing. Verbal assurance that she won't forget it just won't do.
It is possible that he might be having some kind of recurring nightmare, as this crying frenzy quite often start as he wakes, and he often run out of the room frantically searching for Mel, crying "Arty" for "Aunty". This is unlike his prior smiles when he wakes. However, he also cries very loudly when he is about to go to sleep, sometimes crying so hard that his tummy hardens / probably even getting cramped that we put some "Ruyi" oil to relax him. Sometimes attemtps to contain/restrain him results in his even more desparate struggles and sometimes bruising himself. Occasionally, he may have been eating nicely seated, and halfway, he suddenly grab the food like fried chicken /sweet corn, and run off to the swing and cry for it to be let down. It takes a lot of energy to be firm, and insist he either put down the food, then sit on the swing, or to continue eating while seated. There's just been so many episodes of this recurring drama this past month!
Thankfully, it's not as if he's only in this sort of state. We do have good times together where he seems happy & keen to look at what Daddy & Mommy are doing / talking about when we have family meals together. But somehow having those moments earlier in the day, eg. having a family meal out where he's all smiles, or bringing him swimming where he has fun & laughter, or going for an outing with a friend and her 4 year old kid in Sentosa etc. don't seem to provide him with the sense of security to get out of relapsing into such episodes. Even RDI practice has become difficult & inconsistent as he may cooperate for a while, and then get really out of sorts. Very volatile situation!
I'm really unsure if this could have anything to do with the Samonas music, which is unlikely as he had heard those tracks previosuly with no issues. And even if this is really due to feeling neglected/ abandoned during those days I was not with him, how can I really help him gain the confidence & security again......
He was very unhappy about the pre-mature departure and apparently put up a struggle and cried quite a bit even at the corridors of SMU.
Anyway, after that morning, I hardly got to see him that day and the next. The following Mon & Tue were my usual working days, with me accompanying him at AAS on Mon afternoon. Then Wed-Fri 7-9 Nov I was away to Hanoi for my department's teambuilding. That evening when I came home at 7pm we had a good time together.
But somehow, since that period, Dylan seems to have been very insecure and cries very loudly & inconsolably for 20 or 30 mins & sometimes on & off for a whole hour. More recently, he would keep looking at the swing and cry till Mel relents and sit on the swing with him. Today, they even swing for 50 mins. Any attempt to stand up he may burst out crying.
Also, lately at busstops or sometimes even at home, he would insist that Mel carry the backpack while holding him, standing up or sitting on the swing. Verbal assurance that she won't forget it just won't do.
It is possible that he might be having some kind of recurring nightmare, as this crying frenzy quite often start as he wakes, and he often run out of the room frantically searching for Mel, crying "Arty" for "Aunty". This is unlike his prior smiles when he wakes. However, he also cries very loudly when he is about to go to sleep, sometimes crying so hard that his tummy hardens / probably even getting cramped that we put some "Ruyi" oil to relax him. Sometimes attemtps to contain/restrain him results in his even more desparate struggles and sometimes bruising himself. Occasionally, he may have been eating nicely seated, and halfway, he suddenly grab the food like fried chicken /sweet corn, and run off to the swing and cry for it to be let down. It takes a lot of energy to be firm, and insist he either put down the food, then sit on the swing, or to continue eating while seated. There's just been so many episodes of this recurring drama this past month!
Thankfully, it's not as if he's only in this sort of state. We do have good times together where he seems happy & keen to look at what Daddy & Mommy are doing / talking about when we have family meals together. But somehow having those moments earlier in the day, eg. having a family meal out where he's all smiles, or bringing him swimming where he has fun & laughter, or going for an outing with a friend and her 4 year old kid in Sentosa etc. don't seem to provide him with the sense of security to get out of relapsing into such episodes. Even RDI practice has become difficult & inconsistent as he may cooperate for a while, and then get really out of sorts. Very volatile situation!
I'm really unsure if this could have anything to do with the Samonas music, which is unlikely as he had heard those tracks previosuly with no issues. And even if this is really due to feeling neglected/ abandoned during those days I was not with him, how can I really help him gain the confidence & security again......
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
IEP Meeting
Today is Dylan's IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting at St Gerard's. Met with Ms Vasugi (principal), Francis (main teacher of Early Intervention Class), Mr Vasu (Speech therapist), & Bimal Rai (Ed/ Psychologist) to discuss Dylan's goals for the period of Oct 07 to Mar 08.
Very proud to hear Dylan showing greater interest in teachers & kids, gentleness & affection in approaching his classmates, and being interested in circle time, eg when a picture has become out of sight as the teacher leading the circle time shows it to some other kids, he leans over to look. Overall, he's able to focus and complete individual tasks, but more easily distrated in group setting.
Learnt about play therapy at the school every Tuesday whereas with Dylan's current schedule of only attending Wed-Fri there (with Mon-Tue at AAS), he'll continue to miss it. Told them I am trying to put Dylan in AAS in the morning next year, which may entail his switching to other days in AAS. Eg. Ms Vasugi was mentioning that by working on big actions of handpainting on the easel, the kids can slowly progress to tabletop prewriting/ writing activities. I'll put Dylan on 5 day week for a month in St Gerard's come 19 Nov when AAS has school holiday.
Also, there's clearly wisdom to have Dylan do OT in St Gerard, rather than privately, as the issues worked on by OT can be passed to the teachers. Will follow up with Sheralyn to schedule perhaps fortnightly sessions.
One of the greatest take-away today is to have my concern that the RDI & ST objectives (trying to / not to elicit specific response) may conflict, resolved, through dialogue with Bimal & Vasu. In fact, Bimal thinks eg. objective of turntaking can be worked on even as I do echoe mic activity with Dylan. That the activity can be turned into a nice regulatory pattern, even if Dylan merely makes a sound, but not the same as I did.
Very proud to hear Dylan showing greater interest in teachers & kids, gentleness & affection in approaching his classmates, and being interested in circle time, eg when a picture has become out of sight as the teacher leading the circle time shows it to some other kids, he leans over to look. Overall, he's able to focus and complete individual tasks, but more easily distrated in group setting.
Learnt about play therapy at the school every Tuesday whereas with Dylan's current schedule of only attending Wed-Fri there (with Mon-Tue at AAS), he'll continue to miss it. Told them I am trying to put Dylan in AAS in the morning next year, which may entail his switching to other days in AAS. Eg. Ms Vasugi was mentioning that by working on big actions of handpainting on the easel, the kids can slowly progress to tabletop prewriting/ writing activities. I'll put Dylan on 5 day week for a month in St Gerard's come 19 Nov when AAS has school holiday.
Also, there's clearly wisdom to have Dylan do OT in St Gerard, rather than privately, as the issues worked on by OT can be passed to the teachers. Will follow up with Sheralyn to schedule perhaps fortnightly sessions.
One of the greatest take-away today is to have my concern that the RDI & ST objectives (trying to / not to elicit specific response) may conflict, resolved, through dialogue with Bimal & Vasu. In fact, Bimal thinks eg. objective of turntaking can be worked on even as I do echoe mic activity with Dylan. That the activity can be turned into a nice regulatory pattern, even if Dylan merely makes a sound, but not the same as I did.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Filling in the Gaps & Fever
Almost a month has gone by since the last blog. Hmmm...
Dylan had his speech therapy session on Wed 3 Oct and Mr Vasu gave a lot of "homework" on oral motor activities - to massage his facial muscles, brushing inside his cheeks & gums, biting block etc. He also recommends the use of echoe mic. Stage 1- hold mic to his mouth, he makes a sound, I immediately imitate the sound. Stage 2- I make a sound eg. "Ahhhh", then quickly hold to his mouth hoping he'll imitate. Well, after frequent practice with our helper & I, he's more consistently verbalising (though not the same sound but rather indistinct sounds) even with stage 2.
I was on course-Landmark Education Advanced Course, which I find amazing in how free and empowering life can be lived. But it does take me away from Dylan 3 full days (10am-12 midnite) Fri-Sun 5-7 Oct when I only saw him in the morning. Unfortunately for Dylan, even though Daddy was ready to take him swimming, it rained so it didn't happen.
Then the following Saturday we went for an ambitious tree top walk at McRitchie Reservoir which is 10km return. Dylan did pretty well, walking several kilometres, but encouragement & physical assistance to push him a bit wasn't enough after about 3km & I resorted to luring /bribing him with bits of sweets. When even that didn't work, it was time Dad carried him. Unfortunately for us, shortly after crossing the (one-way) tree top canopy bridge which Dylan clearly enjoyed, it started raining pretty heavily, and we only had 1 umbrella & no raincoat for Dylan.
Sick (hi fever, listless, no appetite, drft in & out of sleep day & night) for 7 days. Started with fever on Sat night, throwing up all lunch & dinner & milk 6 times that night. Even Sun morning, couldn't keep even juice.
Wednesday, just as I thought the worst is over, in the evening, the temp shot up again.
Thursday brought for blood test- thankfully it's not dengue.
Lost 2kg- temp dropped from 18 to 16 kg.
Finally, after drinking the lin yang herbal drink brewed by my mom mixed in his rice milk on Thur night, Dylan broke into profuse sweat past 2am & in the morning, fever's gone. Thank God!
Dylan had his speech therapy session on Wed 3 Oct and Mr Vasu gave a lot of "homework" on oral motor activities - to massage his facial muscles, brushing inside his cheeks & gums, biting block etc. He also recommends the use of echoe mic. Stage 1- hold mic to his mouth, he makes a sound, I immediately imitate the sound. Stage 2- I make a sound eg. "Ahhhh", then quickly hold to his mouth hoping he'll imitate. Well, after frequent practice with our helper & I, he's more consistently verbalising (though not the same sound but rather indistinct sounds) even with stage 2.
I was on course-Landmark Education Advanced Course, which I find amazing in how free and empowering life can be lived. But it does take me away from Dylan 3 full days (10am-12 midnite) Fri-Sun 5-7 Oct when I only saw him in the morning. Unfortunately for Dylan, even though Daddy was ready to take him swimming, it rained so it didn't happen.
Then the following Saturday we went for an ambitious tree top walk at McRitchie Reservoir which is 10km return. Dylan did pretty well, walking several kilometres, but encouragement & physical assistance to push him a bit wasn't enough after about 3km & I resorted to luring /bribing him with bits of sweets. When even that didn't work, it was time Dad carried him. Unfortunately for us, shortly after crossing the (one-way) tree top canopy bridge which Dylan clearly enjoyed, it started raining pretty heavily, and we only had 1 umbrella & no raincoat for Dylan.
Sick (hi fever, listless, no appetite, drft in & out of sleep day & night) for 7 days. Started with fever on Sat night, throwing up all lunch & dinner & milk 6 times that night. Even Sun morning, couldn't keep even juice.
Wednesday, just as I thought the worst is over, in the evening, the temp shot up again.
Thursday brought for blood test- thankfully it's not dengue.
Lost 2kg- temp dropped from 18 to 16 kg.
Finally, after drinking the lin yang herbal drink brewed by my mom mixed in his rice milk on Thur night, Dylan broke into profuse sweat past 2am & in the morning, fever's gone. Thank God!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Visit to granny's place; School Party + Outing to the Zoo
Just realised my last blog was 2 weeks ago. Last weekend I agreed to replace a colleague who could not go to the company's 5km run/walk at W Coast Park & I planned to bring Dylan along to walk. But his temperature was quite high so I went alone since I've committed to it. Surprisingly despite my lack of practice & walking the 4th km, our team of 4 won 3rd place for HarbourFront with 117mins (the top team from the Refinery took only 82 mins!). Still it's an unexpected victory for us! But my legs (esp. left knee with old injury) ached for days.
Anyway, thankfully, Dylan though warm, was still active, but I decided to go easy on him. Of course no weekly swim too! By Sunday 23 Sep, he seemed well & I brought him to church, then to my mom's place via MRT- he was so active throughout the journey (tough as it was quite crowded), then on arrival was following his 8year old cousin's lead to climb repeatedly on a spring mattress which is leaning against the wall. Although he's mostly concentrating on just getting up /down /staying there, I noticed occasionally he would pause and look at his cousin.
At the playground, he also did not respond to his cousin's games which require him to freeze & play catch etc. But he was keen to follow his cousin to climb up the exercise bars etc. After lots of exertion, he finally slept while I pushed him around the small park. After he woke from his nap and it's dinnertime, unfortunately he saw mooncakes and ate very little rice but kept going for the sweet stuff. He also didn't initiate going to my Dad (which he usually does) when he came home.
Throughout last week, the teacher reported him to sit & attend well, and one day even self-fed a bowl of fried rice with spoon! I'm so pleased!
Friday evening there was lantern festival party at St Gerard's but he didn't want to finish climbing the flight of stairs (130+steps) that leads up to the school but cried wanting to be carried, but I didn't agree to do so or let Mel carry him. He cried for more than 30 mins, even after we arrived. Though he calmed down earlier & looked at the sparklers & swung his lantern, he only became a happy camper after we went to have some food & he went for the coloured snow-skinned mooncakes which he & other children made. Thankfully, he ate other food too. But as we took a ride home in someone's car & it was quite crammed, he fussed quite a bit & pushed his schoolmate's elder brother.
29 Sep Saturday School Outing to the Zoo
Dylan slept late (past midnight) & woke really early (5am) so he slept less than 5 hours in the night leading up to the zoo outing. We're not sure but believe he was too excited about it. By the time he ate breakfast & we were about to set off, he almost snoozed but was kept awake. At the zoo, it was clear he might not be able to walk all that distance, so after starting out, I decided to turn back to rent one of those 2 seater wagons. But before we got it, he tried to climb the railing overlooking the "crocodile river" where he was fascinated by the waterfall & lo & behold, he dropped his chewy tube. I was not expecting that it could be retrieved but reported it so as to avoid any issues for the croc. But surprisingly, the park rangers managed to use a net to fish it out before any crocodile choked on it.
Anyway, he was very happy to get to travel (in style) in the wagon, but he took out the bags I put in it as he wanted the wagon all by himself, so he could move from the forward-facing seat to the opposite side & he also moved the seat cover up & down to experiment. Interestingly, on the return journey, when a former classmate (who used to have OT with him) joined in, he had no issues with it & appeared very keen with the company of his little friend & kept looking at the kid. They were both tired but figured out someway to both place their feet across the other's side, without problems. I'm happy to see this.
But there were also things I wasn't so pleased with - while I have no issues with his enjoyment at the waterplay area, he again did his nudist stint again & removed his swimming costume various times. Later, I watched him much more closely & whenever I saw him trying to unzip, I called his name sternly, then I would see him zipping back up. But he still tries. Later, after he's changed & I brought him into the ballroom, he really enjoyed himself climbing on to the side, and jumping right in repeatedly. At one time, a woman leant over and was in his way & to my shock, he simply reached for the woman's hair & pulled her back to clear his path. The woman was furious & told him he's rude etc. but he was oblivious & merrily went on his jumping game. I had to apologise profusely. Really wonder when he'll have the awareness, even in times of great excitement, to be mindful of how others feel?
On Sunday, as Juergen has just moved office to the new campus in River Valley, after Dylan's nap, he brought us to the place to show us around. The place still had work in progress + boxes & doors/partitions all over so Dylan couldn't run on his own. While he tries to explore (eg. pulling me into a room or another), he was fine with my keeping him closely in tow, and cooperated on going to the toilet & even though he was interested to explore the long grass, he accepted the limits I imposed not to do so due to concerns for snakes etc. but kept to the concrete path. He also walked nicely with us to the Great World City for dinner.
At the Japanese restaurant however, as my food order for Dylan was missed and it took very long to arrive, Dylan was standing up on the bench looking over the next table, and he was really fast, got down from the bench, went over & grabbed some cold noodles right off a lady's plate. She was taken by surprise and let out "Ah!" and again I had to apologise profusely. I held his hand very angrily and told him "No! You cannot steal food & cannot eat stolen food! Mommy is angry with what you do!" Then aside, I removed the noodles from his fists & told him I have to punish him. Then I held out his hand & hit his palm twice, the first time he was still smiling, but later he looked more unsure. I kept a very stern face. He didn't try to eat the strands of noodles I placed in a plate on our table. Hope this has a positive impact on him.
Anyway, thankfully, Dylan though warm, was still active, but I decided to go easy on him. Of course no weekly swim too! By Sunday 23 Sep, he seemed well & I brought him to church, then to my mom's place via MRT- he was so active throughout the journey (tough as it was quite crowded), then on arrival was following his 8year old cousin's lead to climb repeatedly on a spring mattress which is leaning against the wall. Although he's mostly concentrating on just getting up /down /staying there, I noticed occasionally he would pause and look at his cousin.
At the playground, he also did not respond to his cousin's games which require him to freeze & play catch etc. But he was keen to follow his cousin to climb up the exercise bars etc. After lots of exertion, he finally slept while I pushed him around the small park. After he woke from his nap and it's dinnertime, unfortunately he saw mooncakes and ate very little rice but kept going for the sweet stuff. He also didn't initiate going to my Dad (which he usually does) when he came home.
Throughout last week, the teacher reported him to sit & attend well, and one day even self-fed a bowl of fried rice with spoon! I'm so pleased!
Friday evening there was lantern festival party at St Gerard's but he didn't want to finish climbing the flight of stairs (130+steps) that leads up to the school but cried wanting to be carried, but I didn't agree to do so or let Mel carry him. He cried for more than 30 mins, even after we arrived. Though he calmed down earlier & looked at the sparklers & swung his lantern, he only became a happy camper after we went to have some food & he went for the coloured snow-skinned mooncakes which he & other children made. Thankfully, he ate other food too. But as we took a ride home in someone's car & it was quite crammed, he fussed quite a bit & pushed his schoolmate's elder brother.
29 Sep Saturday School Outing to the Zoo
Dylan slept late (past midnight) & woke really early (5am) so he slept less than 5 hours in the night leading up to the zoo outing. We're not sure but believe he was too excited about it. By the time he ate breakfast & we were about to set off, he almost snoozed but was kept awake. At the zoo, it was clear he might not be able to walk all that distance, so after starting out, I decided to turn back to rent one of those 2 seater wagons. But before we got it, he tried to climb the railing overlooking the "crocodile river" where he was fascinated by the waterfall & lo & behold, he dropped his chewy tube. I was not expecting that it could be retrieved but reported it so as to avoid any issues for the croc. But surprisingly, the park rangers managed to use a net to fish it out before any crocodile choked on it.
Anyway, he was very happy to get to travel (in style) in the wagon, but he took out the bags I put in it as he wanted the wagon all by himself, so he could move from the forward-facing seat to the opposite side & he also moved the seat cover up & down to experiment. Interestingly, on the return journey, when a former classmate (who used to have OT with him) joined in, he had no issues with it & appeared very keen with the company of his little friend & kept looking at the kid. They were both tired but figured out someway to both place their feet across the other's side, without problems. I'm happy to see this.
But there were also things I wasn't so pleased with - while I have no issues with his enjoyment at the waterplay area, he again did his nudist stint again & removed his swimming costume various times. Later, I watched him much more closely & whenever I saw him trying to unzip, I called his name sternly, then I would see him zipping back up. But he still tries. Later, after he's changed & I brought him into the ballroom, he really enjoyed himself climbing on to the side, and jumping right in repeatedly. At one time, a woman leant over and was in his way & to my shock, he simply reached for the woman's hair & pulled her back to clear his path. The woman was furious & told him he's rude etc. but he was oblivious & merrily went on his jumping game. I had to apologise profusely. Really wonder when he'll have the awareness, even in times of great excitement, to be mindful of how others feel?
On Sunday, as Juergen has just moved office to the new campus in River Valley, after Dylan's nap, he brought us to the place to show us around. The place still had work in progress + boxes & doors/partitions all over so Dylan couldn't run on his own. While he tries to explore (eg. pulling me into a room or another), he was fine with my keeping him closely in tow, and cooperated on going to the toilet & even though he was interested to explore the long grass, he accepted the limits I imposed not to do so due to concerns for snakes etc. but kept to the concrete path. He also walked nicely with us to the Great World City for dinner.
At the Japanese restaurant however, as my food order for Dylan was missed and it took very long to arrive, Dylan was standing up on the bench looking over the next table, and he was really fast, got down from the bench, went over & grabbed some cold noodles right off a lady's plate. She was taken by surprise and let out "Ah!" and again I had to apologise profusely. I held his hand very angrily and told him "No! You cannot steal food & cannot eat stolen food! Mommy is angry with what you do!" Then aside, I removed the noodles from his fists & told him I have to punish him. Then I held out his hand & hit his palm twice, the first time he was still smiling, but later he looked more unsure. I kept a very stern face. He didn't try to eat the strands of noodles I placed in a plate on our table. Hope this has a positive impact on him.
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