Dylan's crying sprees

While sharing with Gen on our recent session (1 Dec) at Botanic Gardens (sender-receiver framework of feeding bread to tortoises & swans) about Dylan's crying sprees, I realise I haven't blogged for the entire month of November, and on relooking at my calendar, I note that his insecurity & crying started around the beginning of November. I was on 2 days PersonPlanet Leadership course at SMU 3-4 Dec (9am-9pm). He was like an angel when we arrived together on day 1, smiling so sweetly & being friendly to Joo Hock, Monica & Annabella. He also seemed quite happy exhibiting his confident self, sitting at his table at the back with our helper Mel, scribbling with the crayons that Monica had so nicely prepared for him. He did make some happy sounds, mostly murmurings / mono-syllabic sounds while seated but was co-operative. But after half an hour or so of the session's commencement, he started getting excited & running off to "mingle" around the other tables, and Mel, to avert him turning disruptive, packed up & brought him out.

He was very unhappy about the pre-mature departure and apparently put up a struggle and cried quite a bit even at the corridors of SMU.

Anyway, after that morning, I hardly got to see him that day and the next. The following Mon & Tue were my usual working days, with me accompanying him at AAS on Mon afternoon. Then Wed-Fri 7-9 Nov I was away to Hanoi for my department's teambuilding. That evening when I came home at 7pm we had a good time together.

But somehow, since that period, Dylan seems to have been very insecure and cries very loudly & inconsolably for 20 or 30 mins & sometimes on & off for a whole hour. More recently, he would keep looking at the swing and cry till Mel relents and sit on the swing with him. Today, they even swing for 50 mins. Any attempt to stand up he may burst out crying.

Also, lately at busstops or sometimes even at home, he would insist that Mel carry the backpack while holding him, standing up or sitting on the swing. Verbal assurance that she won't forget it just won't do.

It is possible that he might be having some kind of recurring nightmare, as this crying frenzy quite often start as he wakes, and he often run out of the room frantically searching for Mel, crying "Arty" for "Aunty". This is unlike his prior smiles when he wakes. However, he also cries very loudly when he is about to go to sleep, sometimes crying so hard that his tummy hardens / probably even getting cramped that we put some "Ruyi" oil to relax him. Sometimes attemtps to contain/restrain him results in his even more desparate struggles and sometimes bruising himself. Occasionally, he may have been eating nicely seated, and halfway, he suddenly grab the food like fried chicken /sweet corn, and run off to the swing and cry for it to be let down. It takes a lot of energy to be firm, and insist he either put down the food, then sit on the swing, or to continue eating while seated. There's just been so many episodes of this recurring drama this past month!

Thankfully, it's not as if he's only in this sort of state. We do have good times together where he seems happy & keen to look at what Daddy & Mommy are doing / talking about when we have family meals together. But somehow having those moments earlier in the day, eg. having a family meal out where he's all smiles, or bringing him swimming where he has fun & laughter, or going for an outing with a friend and her 4 year old kid in Sentosa etc. don't seem to provide him with the sense of security to get out of relapsing into such episodes. Even RDI practice has become difficult & inconsistent as he may cooperate for a while, and then get really out of sorts. Very volatile situation!

I'm really unsure if this could have anything to do with the Samonas music, which is unlikely as he had heard those tracks previosuly with no issues. And even if this is really due to feeling neglected/ abandoned during those days I was not with him, how can I really help him gain the confidence & security again......