So after Oma has seen Dylan in such positive light for a couple of days, she gets to experience his crying / drama too.
SWIMMING FUN
On Sunday after church, we went to our usual Keppel club swimming. Dylan was of course elated and couldn't wait so I changed him first and he started playing in the wading pool first. However, as I returned after having changed to my swimming costume, I found Dad bringing him back. He had run off to the jacuzzi which is at the far end up a slope on his own! As Dad let go of his hand when they reached the kids' pool, he again made a run for it. So when they came back, I told him as he did not stop but ran off on his own, he'll have to sit for 5 minutes. He sat with us (my hand on his lap), and he didn't struggle much, and decided to eat a little with us. Subsequently after swimming with me using swimming noodles to the far end, he again tried running off, and did not respond to my demand for him to "stop", I ran after him & we sat down for 5 mins as his time-out. He accepted it.
I noticed that when I walked to the jacuzzi with him, and he's way ahead and pulling me & I stop, even though it's a place he's so keen on, he stops and considers a while, and backtrack to join me. Must say this would not have been possible in the past. Also, despite not having armbands, he's confident to jump into the water with me. We didn't film this, but as I stop and decided to go to another spot to jump, he goes along, and didn't struggle.
After we swam and soaked in the jacuzzi, and we thought for sure he would have a good nap when we went home and he has his rice milk, but he didn't after an hour. So I decided we shall all go shopping, since Oma had requested.
RESTAURANT DRAMA
Not too unexpectedly, he fell asleep (notwithstanding the noise) in his old stroller which has been tucked away for months. So we could shop easily. But the unfortunate thing was he slept from 6-8pm, and as he woke in a Japanese restaurant, he started crying, very loudly. He screamed his lungs out & wanted to be carried, and not allow me to sit down. He also pulled my bag and shove into my hands, indicating I should take it and go out. No amount of huddling would stop the crying, so I had no choice but to bring him out, and he continued the frantic crying for another 30 minutes. I tried praying with him/ for him & it didn't stop. I noticed unlike in the past, I don't feel desperate and know the storm will tide over, in his time. I hushed him and hugged his head to me, but I told him I can't carry him till he calms down and stop crying. I told him not to be scared, although we're in a different place, mommy's here, and that only he can calm himself down.
Finally as his crying ease off, I brought him to walk some stairs, to be sure he's stable. It helps greatly and he finally broke into big smiles and we returned to the restaurant. Though he didn't eat much, as the tempura ordered for him is no longer crispy, and we ordered something else for him, he looked happy and kept looking over the other table, and in Oma's word, was flirting with a little girl.
Then last night, notwithstanding a great time playing 2 new 24-piece puzzles and a nice walk with me and Oma, he again cried very hard for half an hour at bedtime, and only slept at 1am.
Oh by the way, I only discovered on Sunday that his headphones are damaged (no sound on the right). No wonder he rejects them. Got them fixed yesterday (cost $55 - ouch! but thankfully the Sennheiser service personnel are very helpful) and hopefully now the Samonas therapy (Nocturne) can help him with sense of security.
Awaiting for the storm to be fully over!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
New Progress & Oma's visit
After the last "spiritual experience" /episode I wrote about, the following day (4 Dec) Dylan had another crying episode. This time we were trying to get him interested in riding on the bike, now that we managed to pump the deflated tires with the new pump. However he wasn't interested. Mel & I brought him downstairs, thinking he will for sure recall the fun he had on it before. He was quite crazy over it when we just bought the bikes. But whether it's me cycling circling around, or Mel, it just didn't get him excited. So we gave it up & I requested Mel to bring the bike home & it's time with mommy to go walking. He started feeling insecure & started to cry.
He really wanted to go home but followed me up the flight of stairs towards the community club where there's a favourite playground nearby, still crying. He kept running back about 10 steps from me towards our block, but came back to me when I didn't follow him. After crying about half an hour at the nearby exercise corner, I thought he needed to go wee-wee so suggested bringing him to the community club toilet, but he didn't want to go. Then I said I needed to go and please to let me go, even if he didn't need to. First he prevented me, but when he saw that I was still going, he followed me, holding my t-shirt, and stopped crying. We then actually managed to have a nice short walk, and I gave him a short break at another playground.
From that day onwards, there's no more major crying episodes. Hallelujah! I'm so glad also as Juergen's mom is coming over on 14 Dec to stay with us for 3 weeks, and what trauma it would be for her if he continues like this! But thank God he feels secure again, and particpates keenly on our walk and stair-climbing again!
But we do have a new issue since the previous RDI on 1 Dec when we fed the swans & tortoises, as Dylan thinks it's fun to throw things - on that day he threw his chewy tube/hammer which the tortoises tried to covet & which Juergen and park-ranger so heroically retrieved, & he's thrown half-eaten sweet potato from the second floor of Vivo mall, in the cab, unknown stuff downstairs, smashed a bottle of medicine, when previously he would only knock gently on the floor to hear the sound etc. Anyway, we decided not to practice the throwing bread to feed exercise for sender-receiver framework for now.
Then Juergen also fed back to me one day (after Dylan's unsuccessful speech assessment on 11 Dec at AAS, unsuccessful as he was unwilling/unable to point to pictures of objects he's asked to identify, although he did quite consistently pick out the right toys for the assessor) of how much imperative speech & scolding I was into, saying ouch when Dylan steps on me/pull my hair, sometimes going back to my old ways of talking non-stop that he suggested I record myself for half an hour. Anyway, I guess I couldn't accept immediately but realised it's a good thing he pointed that out so I could go back interacting with Dylan in a more reflected (& non-reactive) way. I also took the chance to tell him we really need & request him to be present (body, mind & spirit) with us more often, and I think it was well-taken.
I also had a sort of crisis as my attempt to arrange to work part-time at my current job doesn't seem to be feasible currently.
Since Mom's stay with us 2 days ago, everything's been generally good & peaceful. We have more meals together, and even though Dylan still rather stands on his seat to eat, he doesn't run off so often. We went to Sentosa for a beachside walk after dinner, on Mom's day of arrival, yesterday we went to McRitichie - good thing we gave up on the idea of doing 10km walk as Dylan wasn't really ready to walk long distances, and wanted to be carried quite shortly into the boardwalk.
The progress I noticed is that he's able to take more variations - like my jogging/running then suddenly stop. Sometimes he tries to initiate and run very fast I may go along for a short while, but if I find he's initiating and just expecting me to catch up, I would stop. When he also stops & realises he's ahead of me, he would think for a while & even be able to take 1 or 2 steps towards me! It's really great to see that!
Also at the beach, even though he really wanted to sit in the sand or step further into deeper waters but I stop him, and told him we cannot swim tonite - it's too dark & we're not prepared I told him, see, we have no swiming costume), he would restrain his urge and just stand at the edge of the waters, and kick water instead. He's really come a long way and I'm so proud of him!
Last nite at the exercise corner, I noticed he's much more willing to let me help him with the different exercises. Whereas previously he would run off the moment I come over to assist him. While he still sometimes want to touch say parts meant for the feet & I told him no, it's for stepping on, he would not persist in the touching but instead step on it. He's also more coordinated in the "rower" & even the exercise where one sits (he stands) & pull the handle bars down to raise oneself! He stayed regulated, and let's me help him push all the way down, as he's still not strong enough to go all the way.
The biggest bonus last night was that after a fun neighbourhood walk to the exercise corner & he's feeling really happy with himself, in the lift I squatted to be at eye-level with him & I told him how much I enjoyed the walk together with him, daddy & oma, & I told him I love him & I pucker my lips & say kiss, he leaned over and have his lips touch/kiss mine, & when he let go & I puckered my lips again, his again gave me his lips & this kissing (regulatory pattern) was repeated several times. I'm really elated!
Oh yes, almost forgot to update that since our first session at Jinshin Jyutsu (pronounced jitsu) on 8 Dec (before the RDI home visit session), Mel & I have been doing certain exercises with Dylan when he sleeps (exercise involves our holding a finger & toe 5 mins each till all 10 are done) & we can feel his pulses & I'm wondering if this has contributed to his improvement.
By the way, I also notice Dylan's repertoire of foods he eats increasing- in fact, last night I noted he's eating all the stuff in his plate, which is exactly as we are eating except for the raw veggie salad (beef, broccoli, sweet peas, mushrooms, brown rice) and not his usual faves of fried chicken. This is really great!
He really wanted to go home but followed me up the flight of stairs towards the community club where there's a favourite playground nearby, still crying. He kept running back about 10 steps from me towards our block, but came back to me when I didn't follow him. After crying about half an hour at the nearby exercise corner, I thought he needed to go wee-wee so suggested bringing him to the community club toilet, but he didn't want to go. Then I said I needed to go and please to let me go, even if he didn't need to. First he prevented me, but when he saw that I was still going, he followed me, holding my t-shirt, and stopped crying. We then actually managed to have a nice short walk, and I gave him a short break at another playground.
From that day onwards, there's no more major crying episodes. Hallelujah! I'm so glad also as Juergen's mom is coming over on 14 Dec to stay with us for 3 weeks, and what trauma it would be for her if he continues like this! But thank God he feels secure again, and particpates keenly on our walk and stair-climbing again!
But we do have a new issue since the previous RDI on 1 Dec when we fed the swans & tortoises, as Dylan thinks it's fun to throw things - on that day he threw his chewy tube/hammer which the tortoises tried to covet & which Juergen and park-ranger so heroically retrieved, & he's thrown half-eaten sweet potato from the second floor of Vivo mall, in the cab, unknown stuff downstairs, smashed a bottle of medicine, when previously he would only knock gently on the floor to hear the sound etc. Anyway, we decided not to practice the throwing bread to feed exercise for sender-receiver framework for now.
Then Juergen also fed back to me one day (after Dylan's unsuccessful speech assessment on 11 Dec at AAS, unsuccessful as he was unwilling/unable to point to pictures of objects he's asked to identify, although he did quite consistently pick out the right toys for the assessor) of how much imperative speech & scolding I was into, saying ouch when Dylan steps on me/pull my hair, sometimes going back to my old ways of talking non-stop that he suggested I record myself for half an hour. Anyway, I guess I couldn't accept immediately but realised it's a good thing he pointed that out so I could go back interacting with Dylan in a more reflected (& non-reactive) way. I also took the chance to tell him we really need & request him to be present (body, mind & spirit) with us more often, and I think it was well-taken.
I also had a sort of crisis as my attempt to arrange to work part-time at my current job doesn't seem to be feasible currently.
Since Mom's stay with us 2 days ago, everything's been generally good & peaceful. We have more meals together, and even though Dylan still rather stands on his seat to eat, he doesn't run off so often. We went to Sentosa for a beachside walk after dinner, on Mom's day of arrival, yesterday we went to McRitichie - good thing we gave up on the idea of doing 10km walk as Dylan wasn't really ready to walk long distances, and wanted to be carried quite shortly into the boardwalk.
The progress I noticed is that he's able to take more variations - like my jogging/running then suddenly stop. Sometimes he tries to initiate and run very fast I may go along for a short while, but if I find he's initiating and just expecting me to catch up, I would stop. When he also stops & realises he's ahead of me, he would think for a while & even be able to take 1 or 2 steps towards me! It's really great to see that!
Also at the beach, even though he really wanted to sit in the sand or step further into deeper waters but I stop him, and told him we cannot swim tonite - it's too dark & we're not prepared I told him, see, we have no swiming costume), he would restrain his urge and just stand at the edge of the waters, and kick water instead. He's really come a long way and I'm so proud of him!
Last nite at the exercise corner, I noticed he's much more willing to let me help him with the different exercises. Whereas previously he would run off the moment I come over to assist him. While he still sometimes want to touch say parts meant for the feet & I told him no, it's for stepping on, he would not persist in the touching but instead step on it. He's also more coordinated in the "rower" & even the exercise where one sits (he stands) & pull the handle bars down to raise oneself! He stayed regulated, and let's me help him push all the way down, as he's still not strong enough to go all the way.
The biggest bonus last night was that after a fun neighbourhood walk to the exercise corner & he's feeling really happy with himself, in the lift I squatted to be at eye-level with him & I told him how much I enjoyed the walk together with him, daddy & oma, & I told him I love him & I pucker my lips & say kiss, he leaned over and have his lips touch/kiss mine, & when he let go & I puckered my lips again, his again gave me his lips & this kissing (regulatory pattern) was repeated several times. I'm really elated!
Oh yes, almost forgot to update that since our first session at Jinshin Jyutsu (pronounced jitsu) on 8 Dec (before the RDI home visit session), Mel & I have been doing certain exercises with Dylan when he sleeps (exercise involves our holding a finger & toe 5 mins each till all 10 are done) & we can feel his pulses & I'm wondering if this has contributed to his improvement.
By the way, I also notice Dylan's repertoire of foods he eats increasing- in fact, last night I noted he's eating all the stuff in his plate, which is exactly as we are eating except for the raw veggie salad (beef, broccoli, sweet peas, mushrooms, brown rice) and not his usual faves of fried chicken. This is really great!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Peace after the storm
Last night I came home to find Dylan at the kitchen table, having eaten partially 4-5 pieces of fried chicken, and running off his high chair, and going off to grab another 2 (the last) from another plate. We subsequently moved his plate to the dining table to join me, and for a short while, it's really nice, as he also feeds himself using the spoon to shovel his rice. He likes the organic brown rice mixed with Nordic Natural Cod liver oil, and potassium salt (he'd be happy with regular salt too). Only issue is after sitting for a while, he likes to stand up and eat from the standing position, which is not only unsafe, and keep us on our guard to protect him from falling over, he also drops more food due to the longer distance for the food to reach his mouth. Then he really doesn't want to sit down due to the messy chair. Attempts to keep him seated results in struggles and he may even rather just jump off the chair & run off.
Anyway, as it seemed like he had enough, I turned on his previously favourite video, Richard Scary's Counting video but he decided to stay on to eat some more. After dinner, he went over with Mel to sit at the sofa to watch the rest of the video and became very interested, looking keenly, recalling and swaying to the music. He hasn't appeared the least interested in videos for a long time. And Mel's recent attempts to calm him using videos didn't work. After I'm done, I played with him, letting him do his favourite puzzles and later letting him swing - his preference is to lie on the swing on his tummy and kick very hard and swing really high. But last night when obstructed from swinging on the tummy (and told he can swing seated/ standing up), he cooperated quite readily and sat down, and looked at me very keenly as I pulled the swing seat towards me, and let go.
Anyway, as he woke early yesterday, and only slept on the bus journey home (waking upon reaching home), he got tired when it was past 8.30 pm. I tried to interested him to help me pump air in the bicycle tires so that we could ride it a while. But he started crying and calling for "Arty", wanting me to open the kitchen door which was locked. Then the crying escalated, as I firmly told him first he has to stop crying, and Aunty was doing housework in the kitchen. Now is time with mommy.
I tried to bring him to climb stairs to regulate him, and he did monitor me sometimes, but he continued crying. I told him I'll bring you home but first you have to calm down and stop crying, otherwise we cannot go home. Anyway, we ended up downstairs at the exercise corner -where he usually enjoys the monkey bar with my help, but he cried so loud and hard for an hour. In between when he's only sobbing & seems to be calming down, he actually wanted to do the monkey bar with my help. I'm not sure if he thought that's what I wanted him to do so let's get it out of the way so we can go home.
At various points I really felt at my wits' end - I could see some lower floor neighbours looking out the window & I think the whole 2 adjacent blocks can hear - we stay on the 21st floor & Mel could hear it loud and clear too. Anyway, at one point when I was trying to relax at the bench & he was standing on the bench facing me (so we were about eye-level), I could see he was frantic, with eyes looking all over, and I used my palms as blinders so he'll look at me. He still tried to look left & right upwards, but eventually looked into my eyes, I managed to get his attention to pray together. I asked him to pray after me: "Dear Jesus" & he said "dee jiser" and even though he didn't continue to imitate what I say afterwards asking Jesus to protect him & keep him safe and secure, he stopped his crying completely and was calm and at peace. After the prayer, I hugged him and assured him that I truly love him and I carried him upstairs. He rested his head very peacefully over my shoulder. There wasn't even sobbing vs earlier on when he continued to cry & scream even when I carried him. (When I told Jürgen about this amazing miracle, he called it Dylan's spiritual experience.)
Even when we reached home, he cooperated in letting me help him wash up and brush teeth and that night he was peaceful. After I washed up & came to join him to say a goodnite prayer, he let me huddle him, and wanted me to stay. It was kinda cute, when I or Mel raised our heads to talk to each other (as we were on two sides of Dylan), he wanted us both to lie down. At least I know he's not angry with me but accepts me and know that I love him. Thank God!
He slept well and woke without crying this morning, and he got a bonus, riding the cab to school (at least part of the jorney) with Daddy. Praying that this peace remains with him.
Anyway, as it seemed like he had enough, I turned on his previously favourite video, Richard Scary's Counting video but he decided to stay on to eat some more. After dinner, he went over with Mel to sit at the sofa to watch the rest of the video and became very interested, looking keenly, recalling and swaying to the music. He hasn't appeared the least interested in videos for a long time. And Mel's recent attempts to calm him using videos didn't work. After I'm done, I played with him, letting him do his favourite puzzles and later letting him swing - his preference is to lie on the swing on his tummy and kick very hard and swing really high. But last night when obstructed from swinging on the tummy (and told he can swing seated/ standing up), he cooperated quite readily and sat down, and looked at me very keenly as I pulled the swing seat towards me, and let go.
Anyway, as he woke early yesterday, and only slept on the bus journey home (waking upon reaching home), he got tired when it was past 8.30 pm. I tried to interested him to help me pump air in the bicycle tires so that we could ride it a while. But he started crying and calling for "Arty", wanting me to open the kitchen door which was locked. Then the crying escalated, as I firmly told him first he has to stop crying, and Aunty was doing housework in the kitchen. Now is time with mommy.
I tried to bring him to climb stairs to regulate him, and he did monitor me sometimes, but he continued crying. I told him I'll bring you home but first you have to calm down and stop crying, otherwise we cannot go home. Anyway, we ended up downstairs at the exercise corner -where he usually enjoys the monkey bar with my help, but he cried so loud and hard for an hour. In between when he's only sobbing & seems to be calming down, he actually wanted to do the monkey bar with my help. I'm not sure if he thought that's what I wanted him to do so let's get it out of the way so we can go home.
At various points I really felt at my wits' end - I could see some lower floor neighbours looking out the window & I think the whole 2 adjacent blocks can hear - we stay on the 21st floor & Mel could hear it loud and clear too. Anyway, at one point when I was trying to relax at the bench & he was standing on the bench facing me (so we were about eye-level), I could see he was frantic, with eyes looking all over, and I used my palms as blinders so he'll look at me. He still tried to look left & right upwards, but eventually looked into my eyes, I managed to get his attention to pray together. I asked him to pray after me: "Dear Jesus" & he said "dee jiser" and even though he didn't continue to imitate what I say afterwards asking Jesus to protect him & keep him safe and secure, he stopped his crying completely and was calm and at peace. After the prayer, I hugged him and assured him that I truly love him and I carried him upstairs. He rested his head very peacefully over my shoulder. There wasn't even sobbing vs earlier on when he continued to cry & scream even when I carried him. (When I told Jürgen about this amazing miracle, he called it Dylan's spiritual experience.)
Even when we reached home, he cooperated in letting me help him wash up and brush teeth and that night he was peaceful. After I washed up & came to join him to say a goodnite prayer, he let me huddle him, and wanted me to stay. It was kinda cute, when I or Mel raised our heads to talk to each other (as we were on two sides of Dylan), he wanted us both to lie down. At least I know he's not angry with me but accepts me and know that I love him. Thank God!
He slept well and woke without crying this morning, and he got a bonus, riding the cab to school (at least part of the jorney) with Daddy. Praying that this peace remains with him.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Dylan's crying sprees
While sharing with Gen on our recent session (1 Dec) at Botanic Gardens (sender-receiver framework of feeding bread to tortoises & swans) about Dylan's crying sprees, I realise I haven't blogged for the entire month of November, and on relooking at my calendar, I note that his insecurity & crying started around the beginning of November. I was on 2 days PersonPlanet Leadership course at SMU 3-4 Dec (9am-9pm). He was like an angel when we arrived together on day 1, smiling so sweetly & being friendly to Joo Hock, Monica & Annabella. He also seemed quite happy exhibiting his confident self, sitting at his table at the back with our helper Mel, scribbling with the crayons that Monica had so nicely prepared for him. He did make some happy sounds, mostly murmurings / mono-syllabic sounds while seated but was co-operative. But after half an hour or so of the session's commencement, he started getting excited & running off to "mingle" around the other tables, and Mel, to avert him turning disruptive, packed up & brought him out.
He was very unhappy about the pre-mature departure and apparently put up a struggle and cried quite a bit even at the corridors of SMU.
Anyway, after that morning, I hardly got to see him that day and the next. The following Mon & Tue were my usual working days, with me accompanying him at AAS on Mon afternoon. Then Wed-Fri 7-9 Nov I was away to Hanoi for my department's teambuilding. That evening when I came home at 7pm we had a good time together.
But somehow, since that period, Dylan seems to have been very insecure and cries very loudly & inconsolably for 20 or 30 mins & sometimes on & off for a whole hour. More recently, he would keep looking at the swing and cry till Mel relents and sit on the swing with him. Today, they even swing for 50 mins. Any attempt to stand up he may burst out crying.
Also, lately at busstops or sometimes even at home, he would insist that Mel carry the backpack while holding him, standing up or sitting on the swing. Verbal assurance that she won't forget it just won't do.
It is possible that he might be having some kind of recurring nightmare, as this crying frenzy quite often start as he wakes, and he often run out of the room frantically searching for Mel, crying "Arty" for "Aunty". This is unlike his prior smiles when he wakes. However, he also cries very loudly when he is about to go to sleep, sometimes crying so hard that his tummy hardens / probably even getting cramped that we put some "Ruyi" oil to relax him. Sometimes attemtps to contain/restrain him results in his even more desparate struggles and sometimes bruising himself. Occasionally, he may have been eating nicely seated, and halfway, he suddenly grab the food like fried chicken /sweet corn, and run off to the swing and cry for it to be let down. It takes a lot of energy to be firm, and insist he either put down the food, then sit on the swing, or to continue eating while seated. There's just been so many episodes of this recurring drama this past month!
Thankfully, it's not as if he's only in this sort of state. We do have good times together where he seems happy & keen to look at what Daddy & Mommy are doing / talking about when we have family meals together. But somehow having those moments earlier in the day, eg. having a family meal out where he's all smiles, or bringing him swimming where he has fun & laughter, or going for an outing with a friend and her 4 year old kid in Sentosa etc. don't seem to provide him with the sense of security to get out of relapsing into such episodes. Even RDI practice has become difficult & inconsistent as he may cooperate for a while, and then get really out of sorts. Very volatile situation!
I'm really unsure if this could have anything to do with the Samonas music, which is unlikely as he had heard those tracks previosuly with no issues. And even if this is really due to feeling neglected/ abandoned during those days I was not with him, how can I really help him gain the confidence & security again......
He was very unhappy about the pre-mature departure and apparently put up a struggle and cried quite a bit even at the corridors of SMU.
Anyway, after that morning, I hardly got to see him that day and the next. The following Mon & Tue were my usual working days, with me accompanying him at AAS on Mon afternoon. Then Wed-Fri 7-9 Nov I was away to Hanoi for my department's teambuilding. That evening when I came home at 7pm we had a good time together.
But somehow, since that period, Dylan seems to have been very insecure and cries very loudly & inconsolably for 20 or 30 mins & sometimes on & off for a whole hour. More recently, he would keep looking at the swing and cry till Mel relents and sit on the swing with him. Today, they even swing for 50 mins. Any attempt to stand up he may burst out crying.
Also, lately at busstops or sometimes even at home, he would insist that Mel carry the backpack while holding him, standing up or sitting on the swing. Verbal assurance that she won't forget it just won't do.
It is possible that he might be having some kind of recurring nightmare, as this crying frenzy quite often start as he wakes, and he often run out of the room frantically searching for Mel, crying "Arty" for "Aunty". This is unlike his prior smiles when he wakes. However, he also cries very loudly when he is about to go to sleep, sometimes crying so hard that his tummy hardens / probably even getting cramped that we put some "Ruyi" oil to relax him. Sometimes attemtps to contain/restrain him results in his even more desparate struggles and sometimes bruising himself. Occasionally, he may have been eating nicely seated, and halfway, he suddenly grab the food like fried chicken /sweet corn, and run off to the swing and cry for it to be let down. It takes a lot of energy to be firm, and insist he either put down the food, then sit on the swing, or to continue eating while seated. There's just been so many episodes of this recurring drama this past month!
Thankfully, it's not as if he's only in this sort of state. We do have good times together where he seems happy & keen to look at what Daddy & Mommy are doing / talking about when we have family meals together. But somehow having those moments earlier in the day, eg. having a family meal out where he's all smiles, or bringing him swimming where he has fun & laughter, or going for an outing with a friend and her 4 year old kid in Sentosa etc. don't seem to provide him with the sense of security to get out of relapsing into such episodes. Even RDI practice has become difficult & inconsistent as he may cooperate for a while, and then get really out of sorts. Very volatile situation!
I'm really unsure if this could have anything to do with the Samonas music, which is unlikely as he had heard those tracks previosuly with no issues. And even if this is really due to feeling neglected/ abandoned during those days I was not with him, how can I really help him gain the confidence & security again......
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
IEP Meeting
Today is Dylan's IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting at St Gerard's. Met with Ms Vasugi (principal), Francis (main teacher of Early Intervention Class), Mr Vasu (Speech therapist), & Bimal Rai (Ed/ Psychologist) to discuss Dylan's goals for the period of Oct 07 to Mar 08.
Very proud to hear Dylan showing greater interest in teachers & kids, gentleness & affection in approaching his classmates, and being interested in circle time, eg when a picture has become out of sight as the teacher leading the circle time shows it to some other kids, he leans over to look. Overall, he's able to focus and complete individual tasks, but more easily distrated in group setting.
Learnt about play therapy at the school every Tuesday whereas with Dylan's current schedule of only attending Wed-Fri there (with Mon-Tue at AAS), he'll continue to miss it. Told them I am trying to put Dylan in AAS in the morning next year, which may entail his switching to other days in AAS. Eg. Ms Vasugi was mentioning that by working on big actions of handpainting on the easel, the kids can slowly progress to tabletop prewriting/ writing activities. I'll put Dylan on 5 day week for a month in St Gerard's come 19 Nov when AAS has school holiday.
Also, there's clearly wisdom to have Dylan do OT in St Gerard, rather than privately, as the issues worked on by OT can be passed to the teachers. Will follow up with Sheralyn to schedule perhaps fortnightly sessions.
One of the greatest take-away today is to have my concern that the RDI & ST objectives (trying to / not to elicit specific response) may conflict, resolved, through dialogue with Bimal & Vasu. In fact, Bimal thinks eg. objective of turntaking can be worked on even as I do echoe mic activity with Dylan. That the activity can be turned into a nice regulatory pattern, even if Dylan merely makes a sound, but not the same as I did.
Very proud to hear Dylan showing greater interest in teachers & kids, gentleness & affection in approaching his classmates, and being interested in circle time, eg when a picture has become out of sight as the teacher leading the circle time shows it to some other kids, he leans over to look. Overall, he's able to focus and complete individual tasks, but more easily distrated in group setting.
Learnt about play therapy at the school every Tuesday whereas with Dylan's current schedule of only attending Wed-Fri there (with Mon-Tue at AAS), he'll continue to miss it. Told them I am trying to put Dylan in AAS in the morning next year, which may entail his switching to other days in AAS. Eg. Ms Vasugi was mentioning that by working on big actions of handpainting on the easel, the kids can slowly progress to tabletop prewriting/ writing activities. I'll put Dylan on 5 day week for a month in St Gerard's come 19 Nov when AAS has school holiday.
Also, there's clearly wisdom to have Dylan do OT in St Gerard, rather than privately, as the issues worked on by OT can be passed to the teachers. Will follow up with Sheralyn to schedule perhaps fortnightly sessions.
One of the greatest take-away today is to have my concern that the RDI & ST objectives (trying to / not to elicit specific response) may conflict, resolved, through dialogue with Bimal & Vasu. In fact, Bimal thinks eg. objective of turntaking can be worked on even as I do echoe mic activity with Dylan. That the activity can be turned into a nice regulatory pattern, even if Dylan merely makes a sound, but not the same as I did.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Filling in the Gaps & Fever
Almost a month has gone by since the last blog. Hmmm...
Dylan had his speech therapy session on Wed 3 Oct and Mr Vasu gave a lot of "homework" on oral motor activities - to massage his facial muscles, brushing inside his cheeks & gums, biting block etc. He also recommends the use of echoe mic. Stage 1- hold mic to his mouth, he makes a sound, I immediately imitate the sound. Stage 2- I make a sound eg. "Ahhhh", then quickly hold to his mouth hoping he'll imitate. Well, after frequent practice with our helper & I, he's more consistently verbalising (though not the same sound but rather indistinct sounds) even with stage 2.
I was on course-Landmark Education Advanced Course, which I find amazing in how free and empowering life can be lived. But it does take me away from Dylan 3 full days (10am-12 midnite) Fri-Sun 5-7 Oct when I only saw him in the morning. Unfortunately for Dylan, even though Daddy was ready to take him swimming, it rained so it didn't happen.
Then the following Saturday we went for an ambitious tree top walk at McRitchie Reservoir which is 10km return. Dylan did pretty well, walking several kilometres, but encouragement & physical assistance to push him a bit wasn't enough after about 3km & I resorted to luring /bribing him with bits of sweets. When even that didn't work, it was time Dad carried him. Unfortunately for us, shortly after crossing the (one-way) tree top canopy bridge which Dylan clearly enjoyed, it started raining pretty heavily, and we only had 1 umbrella & no raincoat for Dylan.
Sick (hi fever, listless, no appetite, drft in & out of sleep day & night) for 7 days. Started with fever on Sat night, throwing up all lunch & dinner & milk 6 times that night. Even Sun morning, couldn't keep even juice.
Wednesday, just as I thought the worst is over, in the evening, the temp shot up again.
Thursday brought for blood test- thankfully it's not dengue.
Lost 2kg- temp dropped from 18 to 16 kg.
Finally, after drinking the lin yang herbal drink brewed by my mom mixed in his rice milk on Thur night, Dylan broke into profuse sweat past 2am & in the morning, fever's gone. Thank God!
Dylan had his speech therapy session on Wed 3 Oct and Mr Vasu gave a lot of "homework" on oral motor activities - to massage his facial muscles, brushing inside his cheeks & gums, biting block etc. He also recommends the use of echoe mic. Stage 1- hold mic to his mouth, he makes a sound, I immediately imitate the sound. Stage 2- I make a sound eg. "Ahhhh", then quickly hold to his mouth hoping he'll imitate. Well, after frequent practice with our helper & I, he's more consistently verbalising (though not the same sound but rather indistinct sounds) even with stage 2.
I was on course-Landmark Education Advanced Course, which I find amazing in how free and empowering life can be lived. But it does take me away from Dylan 3 full days (10am-12 midnite) Fri-Sun 5-7 Oct when I only saw him in the morning. Unfortunately for Dylan, even though Daddy was ready to take him swimming, it rained so it didn't happen.
Then the following Saturday we went for an ambitious tree top walk at McRitchie Reservoir which is 10km return. Dylan did pretty well, walking several kilometres, but encouragement & physical assistance to push him a bit wasn't enough after about 3km & I resorted to luring /bribing him with bits of sweets. When even that didn't work, it was time Dad carried him. Unfortunately for us, shortly after crossing the (one-way) tree top canopy bridge which Dylan clearly enjoyed, it started raining pretty heavily, and we only had 1 umbrella & no raincoat for Dylan.
Sick (hi fever, listless, no appetite, drft in & out of sleep day & night) for 7 days. Started with fever on Sat night, throwing up all lunch & dinner & milk 6 times that night. Even Sun morning, couldn't keep even juice.
Wednesday, just as I thought the worst is over, in the evening, the temp shot up again.
Thursday brought for blood test- thankfully it's not dengue.
Lost 2kg- temp dropped from 18 to 16 kg.
Finally, after drinking the lin yang herbal drink brewed by my mom mixed in his rice milk on Thur night, Dylan broke into profuse sweat past 2am & in the morning, fever's gone. Thank God!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Visit to granny's place; School Party + Outing to the Zoo
Just realised my last blog was 2 weeks ago. Last weekend I agreed to replace a colleague who could not go to the company's 5km run/walk at W Coast Park & I planned to bring Dylan along to walk. But his temperature was quite high so I went alone since I've committed to it. Surprisingly despite my lack of practice & walking the 4th km, our team of 4 won 3rd place for HarbourFront with 117mins (the top team from the Refinery took only 82 mins!). Still it's an unexpected victory for us! But my legs (esp. left knee with old injury) ached for days.
Anyway, thankfully, Dylan though warm, was still active, but I decided to go easy on him. Of course no weekly swim too! By Sunday 23 Sep, he seemed well & I brought him to church, then to my mom's place via MRT- he was so active throughout the journey (tough as it was quite crowded), then on arrival was following his 8year old cousin's lead to climb repeatedly on a spring mattress which is leaning against the wall. Although he's mostly concentrating on just getting up /down /staying there, I noticed occasionally he would pause and look at his cousin.
At the playground, he also did not respond to his cousin's games which require him to freeze & play catch etc. But he was keen to follow his cousin to climb up the exercise bars etc. After lots of exertion, he finally slept while I pushed him around the small park. After he woke from his nap and it's dinnertime, unfortunately he saw mooncakes and ate very little rice but kept going for the sweet stuff. He also didn't initiate going to my Dad (which he usually does) when he came home.
Throughout last week, the teacher reported him to sit & attend well, and one day even self-fed a bowl of fried rice with spoon! I'm so pleased!
Friday evening there was lantern festival party at St Gerard's but he didn't want to finish climbing the flight of stairs (130+steps) that leads up to the school but cried wanting to be carried, but I didn't agree to do so or let Mel carry him. He cried for more than 30 mins, even after we arrived. Though he calmed down earlier & looked at the sparklers & swung his lantern, he only became a happy camper after we went to have some food & he went for the coloured snow-skinned mooncakes which he & other children made. Thankfully, he ate other food too. But as we took a ride home in someone's car & it was quite crammed, he fussed quite a bit & pushed his schoolmate's elder brother.
29 Sep Saturday School Outing to the Zoo
Dylan slept late (past midnight) & woke really early (5am) so he slept less than 5 hours in the night leading up to the zoo outing. We're not sure but believe he was too excited about it. By the time he ate breakfast & we were about to set off, he almost snoozed but was kept awake. At the zoo, it was clear he might not be able to walk all that distance, so after starting out, I decided to turn back to rent one of those 2 seater wagons. But before we got it, he tried to climb the railing overlooking the "crocodile river" where he was fascinated by the waterfall & lo & behold, he dropped his chewy tube. I was not expecting that it could be retrieved but reported it so as to avoid any issues for the croc. But surprisingly, the park rangers managed to use a net to fish it out before any crocodile choked on it.
Anyway, he was very happy to get to travel (in style) in the wagon, but he took out the bags I put in it as he wanted the wagon all by himself, so he could move from the forward-facing seat to the opposite side & he also moved the seat cover up & down to experiment. Interestingly, on the return journey, when a former classmate (who used to have OT with him) joined in, he had no issues with it & appeared very keen with the company of his little friend & kept looking at the kid. They were both tired but figured out someway to both place their feet across the other's side, without problems. I'm happy to see this.
But there were also things I wasn't so pleased with - while I have no issues with his enjoyment at the waterplay area, he again did his nudist stint again & removed his swimming costume various times. Later, I watched him much more closely & whenever I saw him trying to unzip, I called his name sternly, then I would see him zipping back up. But he still tries. Later, after he's changed & I brought him into the ballroom, he really enjoyed himself climbing on to the side, and jumping right in repeatedly. At one time, a woman leant over and was in his way & to my shock, he simply reached for the woman's hair & pulled her back to clear his path. The woman was furious & told him he's rude etc. but he was oblivious & merrily went on his jumping game. I had to apologise profusely. Really wonder when he'll have the awareness, even in times of great excitement, to be mindful of how others feel?
On Sunday, as Juergen has just moved office to the new campus in River Valley, after Dylan's nap, he brought us to the place to show us around. The place still had work in progress + boxes & doors/partitions all over so Dylan couldn't run on his own. While he tries to explore (eg. pulling me into a room or another), he was fine with my keeping him closely in tow, and cooperated on going to the toilet & even though he was interested to explore the long grass, he accepted the limits I imposed not to do so due to concerns for snakes etc. but kept to the concrete path. He also walked nicely with us to the Great World City for dinner.
At the Japanese restaurant however, as my food order for Dylan was missed and it took very long to arrive, Dylan was standing up on the bench looking over the next table, and he was really fast, got down from the bench, went over & grabbed some cold noodles right off a lady's plate. She was taken by surprise and let out "Ah!" and again I had to apologise profusely. I held his hand very angrily and told him "No! You cannot steal food & cannot eat stolen food! Mommy is angry with what you do!" Then aside, I removed the noodles from his fists & told him I have to punish him. Then I held out his hand & hit his palm twice, the first time he was still smiling, but later he looked more unsure. I kept a very stern face. He didn't try to eat the strands of noodles I placed in a plate on our table. Hope this has a positive impact on him.
Anyway, thankfully, Dylan though warm, was still active, but I decided to go easy on him. Of course no weekly swim too! By Sunday 23 Sep, he seemed well & I brought him to church, then to my mom's place via MRT- he was so active throughout the journey (tough as it was quite crowded), then on arrival was following his 8year old cousin's lead to climb repeatedly on a spring mattress which is leaning against the wall. Although he's mostly concentrating on just getting up /down /staying there, I noticed occasionally he would pause and look at his cousin.
At the playground, he also did not respond to his cousin's games which require him to freeze & play catch etc. But he was keen to follow his cousin to climb up the exercise bars etc. After lots of exertion, he finally slept while I pushed him around the small park. After he woke from his nap and it's dinnertime, unfortunately he saw mooncakes and ate very little rice but kept going for the sweet stuff. He also didn't initiate going to my Dad (which he usually does) when he came home.
Throughout last week, the teacher reported him to sit & attend well, and one day even self-fed a bowl of fried rice with spoon! I'm so pleased!
Friday evening there was lantern festival party at St Gerard's but he didn't want to finish climbing the flight of stairs (130+steps) that leads up to the school but cried wanting to be carried, but I didn't agree to do so or let Mel carry him. He cried for more than 30 mins, even after we arrived. Though he calmed down earlier & looked at the sparklers & swung his lantern, he only became a happy camper after we went to have some food & he went for the coloured snow-skinned mooncakes which he & other children made. Thankfully, he ate other food too. But as we took a ride home in someone's car & it was quite crammed, he fussed quite a bit & pushed his schoolmate's elder brother.
29 Sep Saturday School Outing to the Zoo
Dylan slept late (past midnight) & woke really early (5am) so he slept less than 5 hours in the night leading up to the zoo outing. We're not sure but believe he was too excited about it. By the time he ate breakfast & we were about to set off, he almost snoozed but was kept awake. At the zoo, it was clear he might not be able to walk all that distance, so after starting out, I decided to turn back to rent one of those 2 seater wagons. But before we got it, he tried to climb the railing overlooking the "crocodile river" where he was fascinated by the waterfall & lo & behold, he dropped his chewy tube. I was not expecting that it could be retrieved but reported it so as to avoid any issues for the croc. But surprisingly, the park rangers managed to use a net to fish it out before any crocodile choked on it.
Anyway, he was very happy to get to travel (in style) in the wagon, but he took out the bags I put in it as he wanted the wagon all by himself, so he could move from the forward-facing seat to the opposite side & he also moved the seat cover up & down to experiment. Interestingly, on the return journey, when a former classmate (who used to have OT with him) joined in, he had no issues with it & appeared very keen with the company of his little friend & kept looking at the kid. They were both tired but figured out someway to both place their feet across the other's side, without problems. I'm happy to see this.
But there were also things I wasn't so pleased with - while I have no issues with his enjoyment at the waterplay area, he again did his nudist stint again & removed his swimming costume various times. Later, I watched him much more closely & whenever I saw him trying to unzip, I called his name sternly, then I would see him zipping back up. But he still tries. Later, after he's changed & I brought him into the ballroom, he really enjoyed himself climbing on to the side, and jumping right in repeatedly. At one time, a woman leant over and was in his way & to my shock, he simply reached for the woman's hair & pulled her back to clear his path. The woman was furious & told him he's rude etc. but he was oblivious & merrily went on his jumping game. I had to apologise profusely. Really wonder when he'll have the awareness, even in times of great excitement, to be mindful of how others feel?
On Sunday, as Juergen has just moved office to the new campus in River Valley, after Dylan's nap, he brought us to the place to show us around. The place still had work in progress + boxes & doors/partitions all over so Dylan couldn't run on his own. While he tries to explore (eg. pulling me into a room or another), he was fine with my keeping him closely in tow, and cooperated on going to the toilet & even though he was interested to explore the long grass, he accepted the limits I imposed not to do so due to concerns for snakes etc. but kept to the concrete path. He also walked nicely with us to the Great World City for dinner.
At the Japanese restaurant however, as my food order for Dylan was missed and it took very long to arrive, Dylan was standing up on the bench looking over the next table, and he was really fast, got down from the bench, went over & grabbed some cold noodles right off a lady's plate. She was taken by surprise and let out "Ah!" and again I had to apologise profusely. I held his hand very angrily and told him "No! You cannot steal food & cannot eat stolen food! Mommy is angry with what you do!" Then aside, I removed the noodles from his fists & told him I have to punish him. Then I held out his hand & hit his palm twice, the first time he was still smiling, but later he looked more unsure. I kept a very stern face. He didn't try to eat the strands of noodles I placed in a plate on our table. Hope this has a positive impact on him.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Crying, Tree-Planting, Birthday Party, Pool Session
On Friday, after Dylan had dinner, I was planning to bring him for a walk but he saw milk being prepared, and he didn't want to go with me. But as it was not yet 9pm (& we were not ready to send him to bed), I insisted we go for a short walk. He started crying and was very upset as we left home, in the lift and downstairs. He just wanted to cling on to me & cried quite inconsolably. I told him I cannot calm him and that he had to calm himself. I would like to go for a walk, I hope he will go with me, and I will wait. I released his grasp of me, and walked slowly to sit down at a bench. After more than 1/2 hour loud cry + sobbing, he did eventually calm down momentarily. (Much later, he even broke out into a nice smile). Even before he stopped crying, as I walked away, I was quite impressed that he followed me where I went, up stairs & even up a playground structure which he usually likes, just to get close to me, even though I wouldn't give in and carry him home. Anyway, I took the chance to praise him & telling him how proud I was of him, that he calmed himself, and came with mommy although he was tired and upset! He looked proud and pleased with himself too! And after we went home and he brushed his teeth, he pulled me towards him to say goodnite prayer with him (no resentment at all!).
TREE-PLANTING
Saturday was a tiring but exciting day attending 2 events - tree-planting in the morning at Labrador Park and a rather rowdy 7 year old birthday party where Dylan swam an hour in the evening! He enjoyed himself at both events.
At the tree-planting, he didn't try to dash out of aunty's hand-holding, and even assisted with the watering of the plant after my mum & I had dug a hole & put the plant in the ground. Though he wasn't looking at the magic show at all, he's also not bothered by the noise & excitement & happily looked at people watching the show. He also gladly participated in the nature walk (getting himself distracted at times by the leaves and plants), which is slow-paced and a shorter route than Mt Faber climbs which he's quite used to (so it's no problem to him, notwithstanding that there are many more people).
BIRTHDAY PARTY
At the party which is indoors in NTU Alumni club lounge, he got quite excited about the heaps of balloons on the ground but didn't really play with them much. Later, there were kids batting the balloons with badminton & tennis rackets, and he didn't seem aware of the danger and still ran around - had to extract him (we were almost hit).
Anyway, these days, it's possible to get him to do RDI at any pool - but the one at the club was particularly distracting with an interesting water structure with slide, plus it was getting cold as the sun had set, so he made several escape attempts midway before I announce "break". Nonetheless, he did join me for jumps.
POOL SESSION
On Sunday, Dylan initially removed his swimming costume twice & was splashing water naked. I acted angry and he readily cooperated to put it back on. My suspicion is that he was uncomfortable as he had to put it on when it's still wet so he'd rather swim naked. Anyway, it's interesting to note how when later I noticed him unzipping himself, & I shouted "Dylan" sternly, he'd stop, look at me & zip up again!
In fact, I notice this with shoes that are uncomfortable too. As we go for our walk, and he feels uncomfortable & tries to remove the shoes & I tell him, "mommy got it that you find the shoe uncomfortable, so once we've climbed the flight of the stairs, we'll go home to change", then he'll slip his feet back in. A colleague also noticed his response when he had slipped out of his shoes and I said "no" that he tried to feel his way to slip back into the shoes. Or when this happens just shortly before we got off a cab & I say "not now, but once we reach home" and he also understands.
Just amazed that an event that appears so distressing can be so helpful! I really do believe that all children really like to be competent! In this case, competent to handle his emotions too! Wow!
Aunty told me she could hear the loud cries from our 21st floor apartment!
TREE-PLANTING
Saturday was a tiring but exciting day attending 2 events - tree-planting in the morning at Labrador Park and a rather rowdy 7 year old birthday party where Dylan swam an hour in the evening! He enjoyed himself at both events.
At the tree-planting, he didn't try to dash out of aunty's hand-holding, and even assisted with the watering of the plant after my mum & I had dug a hole & put the plant in the ground. Though he wasn't looking at the magic show at all, he's also not bothered by the noise & excitement & happily looked at people watching the show. He also gladly participated in the nature walk (getting himself distracted at times by the leaves and plants), which is slow-paced and a shorter route than Mt Faber climbs which he's quite used to (so it's no problem to him, notwithstanding that there are many more people).
BIRTHDAY PARTY
At the party which is indoors in NTU Alumni club lounge, he got quite excited about the heaps of balloons on the ground but didn't really play with them much. Later, there were kids batting the balloons with badminton & tennis rackets, and he didn't seem aware of the danger and still ran around - had to extract him (we were almost hit).
Anyway, these days, it's possible to get him to do RDI at any pool - but the one at the club was particularly distracting with an interesting water structure with slide, plus it was getting cold as the sun had set, so he made several escape attempts midway before I announce "break". Nonetheless, he did join me for jumps.
POOL SESSION
On Sunday, Dylan initially removed his swimming costume twice & was splashing water naked. I acted angry and he readily cooperated to put it back on. My suspicion is that he was uncomfortable as he had to put it on when it's still wet so he'd rather swim naked. Anyway, it's interesting to note how when later I noticed him unzipping himself, & I shouted "Dylan" sternly, he'd stop, look at me & zip up again!
In fact, I notice this with shoes that are uncomfortable too. As we go for our walk, and he feels uncomfortable & tries to remove the shoes & I tell him, "mommy got it that you find the shoe uncomfortable, so once we've climbed the flight of the stairs, we'll go home to change", then he'll slip his feet back in. A colleague also noticed his response when he had slipped out of his shoes and I said "no" that he tried to feel his way to slip back into the shoes. Or when this happens just shortly before we got off a cab & I say "not now, but once we reach home" and he also understands.
We had quite a good session, jumping in towards me / together with me. I experimented on being purposely slightly to one side to see if he would shift and jump right towards me, but he didn't, so I reverted back. Used swimming noodles again. He took quite a while to adjust to it, and started enjoying the regulatory pattern of my moving backward & he moving forwards towards me.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Toileting, Affection, Pool session
After that day's slapping on the thigh for Dylan's 4 accidents in a row (which on hindsight, I thought I over-reacted), Dylan's had 3 straight accident-free days (even through nap times). Wow & Yeah!
2 days ago, he also did something that melted my heart! The 3 of us (me, Dylan & Dad) were returning home after quite a long evening walk to a neighbourhood exercise corner at T Blangah Rise, and I could see that Dylan was very tired, so in the lift, I squatted & offered to let Dylan sit on my thigh. He tilted my head and leaned over to sniff & kiss my neck with audible smacking sounds twice! Something I often do with him! I was so thrilled as he's not really kissed me before! Rather he'd just lean over with his cheek, waiting to be kissed or alternatively lean over & let his lips land on mine, despite my many attempts to teach him by showing.
Anyway, this kept me floating for a couple of days! Really wonderful!
Regarding toileting, his most reliable way to communicate his need to go is still to touch his crotch or bringing my hand between his legs! Not so desirable & I'm not sure if my comment that "I got it, you need to wee wee! Mommy will bring you." is helpful? Perhaps I should shorten to just say "Oh! Wee wee. Dylan needs to wee wee?" Even then, there are times say he's seated at dinner & he struggles to get off his seat (no particular gesture associated with wee wee) & I'll assume perhaps he needs to wee wee (rather than that he simply wants to mess around), then bring him to release. Often he does want to clear.
Anyway, yesterday we went to Keppel Club for a swim. As usual, upon seeing the pool, he already wanted to take off his shoes, but as the pool was closed for a swimming competition, we couldn't swim there. We're quite surprised and impressed that he didn't struggle but followed us to go over to the main lobby to take a cab out of the place. Well, good behaviour doesn't get unrewarded. We proceeded to Safra Club to swim instead & he really enjoyed himself, and he was generally ready to jump in the pool with me, while Dad films. At one point, we had to wait almost half a minute as Dad was fiddling with the camera, and although he was letting out some sounds of frustration, he stayed by my side, held on to my hands & jerked them to indicate "Come on! Don't take forever!" Then we jumped in together.
We also tried out sliding down together. This proved to be more difficult to coordinate. But out of the 2 times he slid down ahead, the second time when I stopped him & tried to bring him back up, I could see he used quite a bit of effort to bring himself back up to the top, before going down with me. Nice!
2 days ago, he also did something that melted my heart! The 3 of us (me, Dylan & Dad) were returning home after quite a long evening walk to a neighbourhood exercise corner at T Blangah Rise, and I could see that Dylan was very tired, so in the lift, I squatted & offered to let Dylan sit on my thigh. He tilted my head and leaned over to sniff & kiss my neck with audible smacking sounds twice! Something I often do with him! I was so thrilled as he's not really kissed me before! Rather he'd just lean over with his cheek, waiting to be kissed or alternatively lean over & let his lips land on mine, despite my many attempts to teach him by showing.
Anyway, this kept me floating for a couple of days! Really wonderful!
Regarding toileting, his most reliable way to communicate his need to go is still to touch his crotch or bringing my hand between his legs! Not so desirable & I'm not sure if my comment that "I got it, you need to wee wee! Mommy will bring you." is helpful? Perhaps I should shorten to just say "Oh! Wee wee. Dylan needs to wee wee?" Even then, there are times say he's seated at dinner & he struggles to get off his seat (no particular gesture associated with wee wee) & I'll assume perhaps he needs to wee wee (rather than that he simply wants to mess around), then bring him to release. Often he does want to clear.
Anyway, yesterday we went to Keppel Club for a swim. As usual, upon seeing the pool, he already wanted to take off his shoes, but as the pool was closed for a swimming competition, we couldn't swim there. We're quite surprised and impressed that he didn't struggle but followed us to go over to the main lobby to take a cab out of the place. Well, good behaviour doesn't get unrewarded. We proceeded to Safra Club to swim instead & he really enjoyed himself, and he was generally ready to jump in the pool with me, while Dad films. At one point, we had to wait almost half a minute as Dad was fiddling with the camera, and although he was letting out some sounds of frustration, he stayed by my side, held on to my hands & jerked them to indicate "Come on! Don't take forever!" Then we jumped in together.
We also tried out sliding down together. This proved to be more difficult to coordinate. But out of the 2 times he slid down ahead, the second time when I stopped him & tried to bring him back up, I could see he used quite a bit of effort to bring himself back up to the top, before going down with me. Nice!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Teacher feedback, "Pony" & Tricycle-riding etc.
Lately, I'm hearing nice feedback from Dylan's teachers, eg.:
- Last week, Ethan from AAS mentioned that Dylan was able to get the message, when Ethan looked at the chair and then Dylan, that he was to push the chair in under the table.
- Francis from St Gerard shared that Dylan has been showing increased ability to stay seated through circle time, even yesterday when there was a combined class & hence much bigger than the usual, he only stood up a couple of times & with the teacher looking at him, he sat down.
- He's very affectionate in school, and likes to hug. (Oh yes, he's consistently running towards me to hug when I go to pick him up from school, or return home from work, or open his bedroom door when he's about to sleep - to pull me by my hand to go inside the room.)
Nice going!
PONY & TRICYCLE RIDING
Today, as it's the September school holidays, at St Gerard's they have a theme week (shopping in wet market, supermarket & tomorrow even flea market etc.), and today they visited Vivo city. Met up with his teachers there to fetch him, since it's right next to my office. After lunch at the herbal restaurant where he ate mostly non-nutritious food like buns, little rice, 1 mushroom, and a couple of herbal crackers, almost a whole glass of hawthorn drink, we went strolling along the third level outdoor area, with its wading pools. Impressive that even though initially he was ready to jump right in, after being restrained twice, he got the message I wasn't about to compromise. Then we headed downstairs to the partially indoor playground where there are false ponies of varying sizes that would move (glide along) when the rider moves the butt up & down, and use hands to push the handle forward and backwards.
Considering that not too long ago, Dylan could cause battery-operated car to topple when riding on one, I'm so impressed that I only helped him hand-over-hand a little while & he got the hang of it and was competent to ride it straight and independently to the other end and back twice! Melba & I were both thrilled!
Then at home, after dinner, Mel decided to try putting Dylan on the tricycle which has been around since he was 1, and for the first time, he was able to peddle on his own, after a slight push to start the motion. Now, all of us, including Daddy were really excited that he can manage this motor activity!
KIDDY PARTY AND SWIMMING
Yesterday, I took the afternoon off & we attended Dylan's AAS classmate's (Cassandra) 4th birthday party, and since it's a poolside tea party, I decided we'll have an RDI pool session while we're there! Indeed Dylan was exhilarated when he woke from his nap to find he's by a pool. He was so keen to participate in the jumping in the pool together with mommy there were many instances he practically pulled me up to jump with him. It's really nice! Too bad by the time we started filming, he was getting tired and there was somewhat less initiative from him, and some disengagements. He also kept going to get warmth by leaning on the stone turtle as it was windy and he probably felt cold. He also didn't seem to notice I let him skip the birthday cake as I left his digestive enzymes in the car.
When I see other Moms /aunties trying hard to restrain their little ones from plonking in to the pool, I thank God Dylan doesn't have health issues holding him back from fun in the pool!
Another thing to sing hallelujah is that Dylan seem to have developed a healthy fear/respect of deep waters - before I was ready to join him & he was alone in the pool, even though he had his armbands on, he walked down the stairs and pushed off, but when he realised he couldn't touch the bottom, he swam back very soon. (Even over the weekend when Juergen & I brought him to Keppel Club, we also noticed that whereas we used to get heart attack trying to out-run & stop him from jumping in the deep pool without us, now he has some safety awareness to jump in but hold on to the side of the pool and climb back out almost right away. Yeah!)
Now I'm able to jump in with him without armbands without fear that he'd just struggle. In fact, we have many wow moments of sharing! Nice!
TRAMPOLINE JUMPING AND STAIRS CLIMBING
Tonite he was very good engaging with me jumping on the trampoline -he's able to take longer pauses before resumption and obviously had a lot of fun in the joint participation. In fact, he actually looked at my face and didn't jump when I shook my head and jumped when I nodded, followed by movement.
But he was quite disengaged climbing stairs. He also peed twice on the stairs, and twice at home. Despite my saying "stop", he didn't/ couldn't but continued & afterwards he was happily playing in the puddle, gliding around, seated. I was quite upset, and seeing him so clueless about my upset & merrily splashing his urine, I slapped his thigh. But on hindsight, it's no big deal, and I'm not entirely sure if he was unable to understand it cognitively or it was simply a matter of lack of bladder control. One connection I can really see is that when he wears pull-up for an extended time (as he did since they had a school outing earlier today), it really affects his gesturing (by touching his crotch or bring my hand to it) to indicate a need to go. (He had verbalised "wee wee" a couple of times before but has not developed this verbal communication for this purpose reliably before.)
Well, agreed with Mel on a tough strategy to reduce pull-up as much as possible....
- Last week, Ethan from AAS mentioned that Dylan was able to get the message, when Ethan looked at the chair and then Dylan, that he was to push the chair in under the table.
- Francis from St Gerard shared that Dylan has been showing increased ability to stay seated through circle time, even yesterday when there was a combined class & hence much bigger than the usual, he only stood up a couple of times & with the teacher looking at him, he sat down.
- He's very affectionate in school, and likes to hug. (Oh yes, he's consistently running towards me to hug when I go to pick him up from school, or return home from work, or open his bedroom door when he's about to sleep - to pull me by my hand to go inside the room.)
Nice going!
PONY & TRICYCLE RIDING
Today, as it's the September school holidays, at St Gerard's they have a theme week (shopping in wet market, supermarket & tomorrow even flea market etc.), and today they visited Vivo city. Met up with his teachers there to fetch him, since it's right next to my office. After lunch at the herbal restaurant where he ate mostly non-nutritious food like buns, little rice, 1 mushroom, and a couple of herbal crackers, almost a whole glass of hawthorn drink, we went strolling along the third level outdoor area, with its wading pools. Impressive that even though initially he was ready to jump right in, after being restrained twice, he got the message I wasn't about to compromise. Then we headed downstairs to the partially indoor playground where there are false ponies of varying sizes that would move (glide along) when the rider moves the butt up & down, and use hands to push the handle forward and backwards.
Considering that not too long ago, Dylan could cause battery-operated car to topple when riding on one, I'm so impressed that I only helped him hand-over-hand a little while & he got the hang of it and was competent to ride it straight and independently to the other end and back twice! Melba & I were both thrilled!
Then at home, after dinner, Mel decided to try putting Dylan on the tricycle which has been around since he was 1, and for the first time, he was able to peddle on his own, after a slight push to start the motion. Now, all of us, including Daddy were really excited that he can manage this motor activity!
KIDDY PARTY AND SWIMMING
Yesterday, I took the afternoon off & we attended Dylan's AAS classmate's (Cassandra) 4th birthday party, and since it's a poolside tea party, I decided we'll have an RDI pool session while we're there! Indeed Dylan was exhilarated when he woke from his nap to find he's by a pool. He was so keen to participate in the jumping in the pool together with mommy there were many instances he practically pulled me up to jump with him. It's really nice! Too bad by the time we started filming, he was getting tired and there was somewhat less initiative from him, and some disengagements. He also kept going to get warmth by leaning on the stone turtle as it was windy and he probably felt cold. He also didn't seem to notice I let him skip the birthday cake as I left his digestive enzymes in the car.
When I see other Moms /aunties trying hard to restrain their little ones from plonking in to the pool, I thank God Dylan doesn't have health issues holding him back from fun in the pool!
Another thing to sing hallelujah is that Dylan seem to have developed a healthy fear/respect of deep waters - before I was ready to join him & he was alone in the pool, even though he had his armbands on, he walked down the stairs and pushed off, but when he realised he couldn't touch the bottom, he swam back very soon. (Even over the weekend when Juergen & I brought him to Keppel Club, we also noticed that whereas we used to get heart attack trying to out-run & stop him from jumping in the deep pool without us, now he has some safety awareness to jump in but hold on to the side of the pool and climb back out almost right away. Yeah!)
Now I'm able to jump in with him without armbands without fear that he'd just struggle. In fact, we have many wow moments of sharing! Nice!
TRAMPOLINE JUMPING AND STAIRS CLIMBING
Tonite he was very good engaging with me jumping on the trampoline -he's able to take longer pauses before resumption and obviously had a lot of fun in the joint participation. In fact, he actually looked at my face and didn't jump when I shook my head and jumped when I nodded, followed by movement.
But he was quite disengaged climbing stairs. He also peed twice on the stairs, and twice at home. Despite my saying "stop", he didn't/ couldn't but continued & afterwards he was happily playing in the puddle, gliding around, seated. I was quite upset, and seeing him so clueless about my upset & merrily splashing his urine, I slapped his thigh. But on hindsight, it's no big deal, and I'm not entirely sure if he was unable to understand it cognitively or it was simply a matter of lack of bladder control. One connection I can really see is that when he wears pull-up for an extended time (as he did since they had a school outing earlier today), it really affects his gesturing (by touching his crotch or bring my hand to it) to indicate a need to go. (He had verbalised "wee wee" a couple of times before but has not developed this verbal communication for this purpose reliably before.)
Well, agreed with Mel on a tough strategy to reduce pull-up as much as possible....
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Heartstrings Walk & Jürgen's Birthday
On Saturday 18/8, Dylan, me, my mom, second brother & our helper Melba + Jürgen with his colleagues from the office went for the Heartstrings charity walk. During the mass workout (which many people did not join, just hanging by the fringes where they can't hear a thing from the main stage) at the floating platform, initially Mel was carrying Dylan, but I decided to let him loose, just holding his hand /shoulder occasionally. As it turns out, he was quite interested to sway to the upbeat music (his favourite "dance" style) and was quite glad to let me guide him to follow the instructor's moves sometimes. He was also keenly watching other people around us, enjoying the moment, and did not attempt to run off at all.
Anyway, as the walk was really slow (since we're with the VWOs to walk just 1 km), we decided to veer to the 6km route and interestingly, Dylan actually managed to walk all the way till about half-way on the return journey where he really got tired & wanted to be carried. We took turns to carry him & he was comfortable with uncle & later even a volunteer (a JC girl) who was keen to carry him.
It poured at the end of our walk, close to 11am, so Dylan had no chance to enjoy the bouncy castle / bungy bounce, & we got stuck in a shelter with the NTU volunteers where we get to learn about their various meaningful projects (spending time with older kids from MINDS, publishing a cookbook with input from the elderly etc.). Thankfully, Dylan was quite relaxed & easy to manage (with snacks). Even though he was keen to touch the rain with his hands, which I gladly let him for a while, he did not object too much when I decided it was enough & moved him way in. As the organisers were worried of lightning risk, we all had to leave for better shelter & Dylan again was agreeable to hang out at a golf buggy with Mel while I came back with food from the stalls.
He had his 2 hr nap, not immediately after we got home by bus, and was full of energy when he woke at 4.30pm & participated in the activities Gen had framed for us.
After dinner, I brought him for an hour's walk & stair-climbing and found he was quite willing to participate. During his break at the playground, he got overexcited trying to run away from me & fell off some stairs (3 steps). Got me worried but he was OK. Tried the horizontal bar pull ups with Dylan but mostly I was doing the work - but he didn't try to run off too soon & did seem to figure what he's supposed to do.
JüRGEN'S BIRTHDAY ON SUNDAY 19 AUGUST
Relaxing day for us! Dylan slept late & woke early (12midnite to 7am) & was very active. After church, he was quite cooperative as he waited with Mel while I collected Jürgen's birthday presents - all sinful & nice stuff.
He had a 3 hour nap where we got to really relax & for me to recover from the previous day's fatigue (I felt a bit sick due to extended period in wet shoes & trousers) & for Jürgen, the tiredness of the Bangkok trip + endless demands at the office, including visitors. As I try to let Mel off every Sunday to rejuvenate, the quality of rest we get on Sundays depends critically on the length & quality of Dylan's nap. Anyway, it's really great that even though Dylan woke several times (once after he poo-pooed in his pull-up diaper which was left on after we returned home & had to be washed), he was OK to let me hold him & lie down with him as he goes back to sleep. This is a great improvement as compared to a period when he would fuss & cry & refuse to let me comfort him when he sees that aunty Mel wasn't at home. I feel the RDI is really bonding us more. In various circumstances (eg in AAS or even outside), when someone else is teaching/caring for him, he would occasionally throw me a glance. It's very nice.
At night, we took a cab & went for dinner at Siloso beach, Sentosa. Settled at Sakae Sushi. While waiting for food, I relented & walked with Dylan barefoot on the beach towards the water. Although he did splash water with his feet & made me somewhat wet, he did not try too hard to charge into the water or insist on plonking himself down despite my objections which was typical in the past. Now he's actually able to resist the temptation and keep within mom's limit. He cooperated (though not immediately) when I told him we should go back to the restaurant and we will come back. During dinner, he made various escape attempts (but were thwarted by mom), finished his food then we went for a stroll right to the edge of the water where he got his feet wet again. We let him wash his feet at the nearby waterfountain & walked all the way to the end of siloso beach (Rasa Sentosa) & took a cab home. Nice evening!
Anyway, as the walk was really slow (since we're with the VWOs to walk just 1 km), we decided to veer to the 6km route and interestingly, Dylan actually managed to walk all the way till about half-way on the return journey where he really got tired & wanted to be carried. We took turns to carry him & he was comfortable with uncle & later even a volunteer (a JC girl) who was keen to carry him.
It poured at the end of our walk, close to 11am, so Dylan had no chance to enjoy the bouncy castle / bungy bounce, & we got stuck in a shelter with the NTU volunteers where we get to learn about their various meaningful projects (spending time with older kids from MINDS, publishing a cookbook with input from the elderly etc.). Thankfully, Dylan was quite relaxed & easy to manage (with snacks). Even though he was keen to touch the rain with his hands, which I gladly let him for a while, he did not object too much when I decided it was enough & moved him way in. As the organisers were worried of lightning risk, we all had to leave for better shelter & Dylan again was agreeable to hang out at a golf buggy with Mel while I came back with food from the stalls.
He had his 2 hr nap, not immediately after we got home by bus, and was full of energy when he woke at 4.30pm & participated in the activities Gen had framed for us.
After dinner, I brought him for an hour's walk & stair-climbing and found he was quite willing to participate. During his break at the playground, he got overexcited trying to run away from me & fell off some stairs (3 steps). Got me worried but he was OK. Tried the horizontal bar pull ups with Dylan but mostly I was doing the work - but he didn't try to run off too soon & did seem to figure what he's supposed to do.
JüRGEN'S BIRTHDAY ON SUNDAY 19 AUGUST
Relaxing day for us! Dylan slept late & woke early (12midnite to 7am) & was very active. After church, he was quite cooperative as he waited with Mel while I collected Jürgen's birthday presents - all sinful & nice stuff.
He had a 3 hour nap where we got to really relax & for me to recover from the previous day's fatigue (I felt a bit sick due to extended period in wet shoes & trousers) & for Jürgen, the tiredness of the Bangkok trip + endless demands at the office, including visitors. As I try to let Mel off every Sunday to rejuvenate, the quality of rest we get on Sundays depends critically on the length & quality of Dylan's nap. Anyway, it's really great that even though Dylan woke several times (once after he poo-pooed in his pull-up diaper which was left on after we returned home & had to be washed), he was OK to let me hold him & lie down with him as he goes back to sleep. This is a great improvement as compared to a period when he would fuss & cry & refuse to let me comfort him when he sees that aunty Mel wasn't at home. I feel the RDI is really bonding us more. In various circumstances (eg in AAS or even outside), when someone else is teaching/caring for him, he would occasionally throw me a glance. It's very nice.
At night, we took a cab & went for dinner at Siloso beach, Sentosa. Settled at Sakae Sushi. While waiting for food, I relented & walked with Dylan barefoot on the beach towards the water. Although he did splash water with his feet & made me somewhat wet, he did not try too hard to charge into the water or insist on plonking himself down despite my objections which was typical in the past. Now he's actually able to resist the temptation and keep within mom's limit. He cooperated (though not immediately) when I told him we should go back to the restaurant and we will come back. During dinner, he made various escape attempts (but were thwarted by mom), finished his food then we went for a stroll right to the edge of the water where he got his feet wet again. We let him wash his feet at the nearby waterfountain & walked all the way to the end of siloso beach (Rasa Sentosa) & took a cab home. Nice evening!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Bangkok Trip 8-12 Aug 2007
We just came back from our 5D/4N family vacation from Bangkok yesterday! Just Juergen, Dylan & I - which Juergen pointed out is not a frequent occurence at all, the only other time being the rather difficult trip to Germany in mid 2006, when we stayed with Juergen's Dad (almost giving him a nervous breakdown with Dylan's crying out of ear infection pain & tantrums) and mum (where Dylan couldn't stay still & mess around with the delicate furniture & drove her up the wall, which translated to us getting earfuls) & friends (Walter's girlfriend & the Ackermann's). One other time was when we went to Angsana Bintan a day ahead & Hwee Leng & her daughter Melissa joined us later. Mostly we had travelled with our helper or my parents (or his mum), or both.
Anyway, it's a good thing we decided to stay 4 nights in Marriott Resort & Spa (rather than move to stay with our friends for the 3rd and 4th nights as that would involve further adjustment woes & possibly stress them out). It has a wonderful pool for many pool sessions with Dylan, and reasonably spacious grounds for walking. It also provided an oasis of calm after returning from the chaotic & overwhelming streetside/night market shopping experiences!
POOL SESSIONS
Dylan was quite keen to participate in the RDI activities, jumping in towards me, or together with me/ Dad. I was really overjoyed on the second day when totally unprompted, he even reached out to me to help me up when I "wasn't ready" to jump in together! Although subsequently the initiation attempts were somewhat prompted/staged, by my gently touching his hand while I'm still seated on this "island", I'm still really happy he's showing such engagement & initiation.
We're still not so well synchronised in jumping in together but he's definitely looking at my legs, whether I bend my knees, and trying to keep pace with me on the jump. When I introduced a variation, bending my kneees but instead of jumping off, I straighten them again, he didn't jump. Yeah! Once in a while, one of us actually jumps off way ahead of the other, & he squealed in delight. I then quickly grabbed the opportunity to say, "Oh no! We didn't jump in together this time. But it's OK, we'll do it together again".
Trying to invite him to swim towards a particular end of the pool is more difficult as he still prefers his own agenda, suddenly twisting off to another direction but he's at least not angry when I shuffle him towards my direction.
LIMIT-SETTING AT THE POOL (still not successful though!)
He did try & sometimes succeeded to run off to the nearby jacuzzi, and each time, I'll catch up with him, told him "No, no running off on your own" & bring him back to where he ran off, and gently & firmly make him tap my shoulder & point to jacuzzi, then we walk over together. He slipped & fell once on the escape path & bumped his head & cried, and pulled my hand to rub his head. At the jacuzzi, as he was tapping the earthen wall, making a handprint, I tried to engage him by pressing my handprint & helping him make his (intending to work on his turn-taking objective), but he rubbed it all with water. Didn't work, but will try again.
ATTEMPTED REPAIR ACTION
Once in the room, after I gave him his anti-yeast medicine (Nystatin suspension) which he really likes & can't have enough of, as I was off to the bath to wash hands, he managed to open the cap on his own, and when I came out, I found he had spilled alot of it on the floor & I was furious, and I exclaimed very loudly "DYLAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Mommy's ANGRY!" and when I took the bottle back from him, he immediately tried to make repairs by thrusting his hand out with the bottle cap, trying to close it back. As I was still furious, I said loudly again that I'm really angry, and he tried again to close the cap to the bottle I was holding. I softened and suggested to him let's clean up.
Must say I'm quite happy that he realised he did something unacceptable, and that he had to make repairs! Though Juergen commented that Dylan's repairs are too little, too late, & indeed too many impulsive actions, well, it's still a wonderful start that he is trying!
OTHER EXPERIENCES, SHOPPING AND MEALS
Dylan definitely enjoyed the 15 min boat ride from our riverside resort to the skytrain station (Saphan Taksin stn) at Sathorn Pier. We actually experienced almost the full range of transportation on this trip: plane, boat, skytrain, underground MRT, taxi, even tuk-tuk - very exhilarating! We could tell he really enjoys the boat & tuk-tuk rides! He also enjoyed the dinner at the Thai restaurant (he was really hooked on the pandan chicken and we had to order a second plate) and another night at the beer garden at the Lumphini night market - well, it's got white rice & all the crispy stuff (deep fried morning glory, soft shell crab etc.)!
Shopping was difficult with /for Dylan, probably overwhelming! He was touching everything & everyone he comes across - once he was intent on pulling a lady's skirt from behind (imagine the adults' desperate attempts to stop him before the lady gets shocked!). But thankfully no tantrums, just that it was highly energy-consuming for the adult, good thing our good friend (Can Seng) volunteered often to hold his hand/ carry him while we shopped. He seems to enjoy Can Seng's company but at one point, got too friendly & bit his belly unexpectedly for fun!
It's one of those holidays where you need a break after it, but it's very satisfying! I'm greatly encouraged with Dylan's progress, and Juergen's making the choice to join us fully on the second day to foster family solidarity! Glad he managed to have 2 days of golf too! We did /had a lot more shopping & yummy food than I thought was possible- thanks to Can Seng & Paul, with their local knowledge, and tremendous patience and help!
Last night, upon return home, I finally had a good night's sleep, right through the night!
Anyway, it's a good thing we decided to stay 4 nights in Marriott Resort & Spa (rather than move to stay with our friends for the 3rd and 4th nights as that would involve further adjustment woes & possibly stress them out). It has a wonderful pool for many pool sessions with Dylan, and reasonably spacious grounds for walking. It also provided an oasis of calm after returning from the chaotic & overwhelming streetside/night market shopping experiences!
POOL SESSIONS
Dylan was quite keen to participate in the RDI activities, jumping in towards me, or together with me/ Dad. I was really overjoyed on the second day when totally unprompted, he even reached out to me to help me up when I "wasn't ready" to jump in together! Although subsequently the initiation attempts were somewhat prompted/staged, by my gently touching his hand while I'm still seated on this "island", I'm still really happy he's showing such engagement & initiation.
We're still not so well synchronised in jumping in together but he's definitely looking at my legs, whether I bend my knees, and trying to keep pace with me on the jump. When I introduced a variation, bending my kneees but instead of jumping off, I straighten them again, he didn't jump. Yeah! Once in a while, one of us actually jumps off way ahead of the other, & he squealed in delight. I then quickly grabbed the opportunity to say, "Oh no! We didn't jump in together this time. But it's OK, we'll do it together again".
Trying to invite him to swim towards a particular end of the pool is more difficult as he still prefers his own agenda, suddenly twisting off to another direction but he's at least not angry when I shuffle him towards my direction.
LIMIT-SETTING AT THE POOL (still not successful though!)
He did try & sometimes succeeded to run off to the nearby jacuzzi, and each time, I'll catch up with him, told him "No, no running off on your own" & bring him back to where he ran off, and gently & firmly make him tap my shoulder & point to jacuzzi, then we walk over together. He slipped & fell once on the escape path & bumped his head & cried, and pulled my hand to rub his head. At the jacuzzi, as he was tapping the earthen wall, making a handprint, I tried to engage him by pressing my handprint & helping him make his (intending to work on his turn-taking objective), but he rubbed it all with water. Didn't work, but will try again.
ATTEMPTED REPAIR ACTION
Once in the room, after I gave him his anti-yeast medicine (Nystatin suspension) which he really likes & can't have enough of, as I was off to the bath to wash hands, he managed to open the cap on his own, and when I came out, I found he had spilled alot of it on the floor & I was furious, and I exclaimed very loudly "DYLAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Mommy's ANGRY!" and when I took the bottle back from him, he immediately tried to make repairs by thrusting his hand out with the bottle cap, trying to close it back. As I was still furious, I said loudly again that I'm really angry, and he tried again to close the cap to the bottle I was holding. I softened and suggested to him let's clean up.
Must say I'm quite happy that he realised he did something unacceptable, and that he had to make repairs! Though Juergen commented that Dylan's repairs are too little, too late, & indeed too many impulsive actions, well, it's still a wonderful start that he is trying!
OTHER EXPERIENCES, SHOPPING AND MEALS
Dylan definitely enjoyed the 15 min boat ride from our riverside resort to the skytrain station (Saphan Taksin stn) at Sathorn Pier. We actually experienced almost the full range of transportation on this trip: plane, boat, skytrain, underground MRT, taxi, even tuk-tuk - very exhilarating! We could tell he really enjoys the boat & tuk-tuk rides! He also enjoyed the dinner at the Thai restaurant (he was really hooked on the pandan chicken and we had to order a second plate) and another night at the beer garden at the Lumphini night market - well, it's got white rice & all the crispy stuff (deep fried morning glory, soft shell crab etc.)!
Shopping was difficult with /for Dylan, probably overwhelming! He was touching everything & everyone he comes across - once he was intent on pulling a lady's skirt from behind (imagine the adults' desperate attempts to stop him before the lady gets shocked!). But thankfully no tantrums, just that it was highly energy-consuming for the adult, good thing our good friend (Can Seng) volunteered often to hold his hand/ carry him while we shopped. He seems to enjoy Can Seng's company but at one point, got too friendly & bit his belly unexpectedly for fun!
It's one of those holidays where you need a break after it, but it's very satisfying! I'm greatly encouraged with Dylan's progress, and Juergen's making the choice to join us fully on the second day to foster family solidarity! Glad he managed to have 2 days of golf too! We did /had a lot more shopping & yummy food than I thought was possible- thanks to Can Seng & Paul, with their local knowledge, and tremendous patience and help!
Last night, upon return home, I finally had a good night's sleep, right through the night!
Monday, August 6, 2007
Climbing stairs
Wow, even though Dylan was tired when I went with him for stair-climbing (tired because he again didn't/couldn't nap after his afternoon AAS class but mess around with his grandma), it's the first time he actually looked at my legs /feet prior to taking his steps forward. Even though it's like 2 out of every 10 steps that he did so, I'm still thrilled! Very encouraged too!
Earlier he also did more than 10 sit-ups with me, half of them horizontal, and half of them inclined with head down. When 2 of his uncles (my brothers) showed up downstairs to pick my mum up, he was very friendly towards them, allowing them to help him up to the monkey bars repeatedly, and he later particularly enjoyed 3rd uncle's holding & letting him fly like an aeroplane. No tantrums even as he was really tired by then. Really nice!
Earlier he also did more than 10 sit-ups with me, half of them horizontal, and half of them inclined with head down. When 2 of his uncles (my brothers) showed up downstairs to pick my mum up, he was very friendly towards them, allowing them to help him up to the monkey bars repeatedly, and he later particularly enjoyed 3rd uncle's holding & letting him fly like an aeroplane. No tantrums even as he was really tired by then. Really nice!
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Pool session
Brought Dylan to Safra pool with Mel to help with filming and did 4 activities:
1. Dylan jump in from poolside into pool towards me (holding my hands)
2. Dylan float using swimming noodles and move towards me as I move backwards
3. Mommy and Dylan jump into pool together
4. Mommy and Dylan climb up and slide down a slide side-by-side together.
It was a good session! Although he did make various attempts to run off, twice successfully during activity 1, he did seem to enjoy and reach out for my hands and squealed in delight even before he got into the water.
With swimming noodles, he still finds them unfamiliar (being much more used to armbands), and often gravitated towards the poolside, rather than towards me, so need quite a lot of guiding.
The third activity started unintentionally. He was trying to stick one leg into the water while we were both at the poolside, and when I said not yet, he brought his legs back, and really watched out for my knees to bend (as a cue that I'm about to jump), then jump in with me together. We repeated that a couple of times and I noted he looked out for the signal often and tried to coordinate the action together with me!
The last activity was more difficult to execute, as the slide's slippery - while he waited, I needed to physically hold him back lightly to to guide his hands forward to indicate I'm going down.
Overall, a session that got me encouraged as I can see progress! We had fun too!
1. Dylan jump in from poolside into pool towards me (holding my hands)
2. Dylan float using swimming noodles and move towards me as I move backwards
3. Mommy and Dylan jump into pool together
4. Mommy and Dylan climb up and slide down a slide side-by-side together.
It was a good session! Although he did make various attempts to run off, twice successfully during activity 1, he did seem to enjoy and reach out for my hands and squealed in delight even before he got into the water.
With swimming noodles, he still finds them unfamiliar (being much more used to armbands), and often gravitated towards the poolside, rather than towards me, so need quite a lot of guiding.
The third activity started unintentionally. He was trying to stick one leg into the water while we were both at the poolside, and when I said not yet, he brought his legs back, and really watched out for my knees to bend (as a cue that I'm about to jump), then jump in with me together. We repeated that a couple of times and I noted he looked out for the signal often and tried to coordinate the action together with me!
The last activity was more difficult to execute, as the slide's slippery - while he waited, I needed to physically hold him back lightly to to guide his hands forward to indicate I'm going down.
Overall, a session that got me encouraged as I can see progress! We had fun too!
Friday, August 3, 2007
Dylan's class interaction
I visited St Gerard's again to pick Dylan up at 2.30pm. But he already ran out of battery by 2pm. Yen & Francis observed that he was already having low battery (very low energy level) by 1.30pm, although he continued to play the simple & modified board game, where the 2 kids (the other being 6-yr old Amanda) are assisted by a teacher each from behind, and are to roll a dice, which shows different colours, then pick up a geometrical shape with the same colour, and place the shape on different parts of a cardboard picture (eg. a truck) with velcro attached.
What's encouraging to hear from Yen is that Dylan often looks at Amanda's facial expression, then at Yen, whereas Amanda is only looking at the shapes and not so interested in anyone else. Francis also tells me of his trying out not to tell Dylan what exactly he's to do - but in this case, it's when Dylan's found on top of the shelves. Francis went up to him and said no sternly and just by holding his hand, Dylan sat down, and later came down of it.
I was also told that Dylan's been really affectionate, and hugs his classmates and his teachers as well.
Anyway, at home, I got him to do 10 sit-ups, counting down. He pulled up on his own, and initially keeps wanting to go away once he's up, but he allowed me to guide him to continue. Towards the later part, he doesn't resist my help anymore and was in fact anticipating the next lying down on my legs, and to pull himself up.
What's encouraging to hear from Yen is that Dylan often looks at Amanda's facial expression, then at Yen, whereas Amanda is only looking at the shapes and not so interested in anyone else. Francis also tells me of his trying out not to tell Dylan what exactly he's to do - but in this case, it's when Dylan's found on top of the shelves. Francis went up to him and said no sternly and just by holding his hand, Dylan sat down, and later came down of it.
I was also told that Dylan's been really affectionate, and hugs his classmates and his teachers as well.
Anyway, at home, I got him to do 10 sit-ups, counting down. He pulled up on his own, and initially keeps wanting to go away once he's up, but he allowed me to guide him to continue. Towards the later part, he doesn't resist my help anymore and was in fact anticipating the next lying down on my legs, and to pull himself up.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Meeting at St Gerard's & Play with Dylan
Spent about an hour with Ms Vasugi, Bimal and Dylan's teacher Yen. Very glad of school's open attitude. Realised that Yen is already quite good in her communication style, not repeating herself and she does wait. She's also effective at limit-setting - I'm quite impressed that she's firm and able to make Dylan understand he has to remain on the "ready" chair when he throw things around/ is generally not ready. Wow! My boy is able to accept this kind of limit without being physically restrained! Bimal helped in getting a balanced view on how school's objectives even though essentially instructional, can be achieved through simply slowing down, and through indirect prompts. I also shared Dylan's RDI objectives on resumption & turn-taking, and Yen suggested to let Dylan stay longer in school at least once a week where in the afternoon, they have started with playing board games.
After dinner, I tried quite a number of sequential activities working on Dylan's turn-taking objective. I find that he's still either so impatient with my slowing down the process of putting toy coins into the slot (sequential parallel) and wants to take over all of it, or he runs off now & then when we played with fitting pegs when we took turns with the sender-receiver roles. Thankfully, he does come back shortly even at times when I don't run after him. When I'm the receiver, he doesn't seem to get it that he's to pass the peg to me rather than press it into the foam board, so at this point, I have to obstruct his attempts to take over my role or to grab a bunch of coins/pegs at one go. He did seem to like looking at my placements which was in coloured rows. Being receiver, he's quite happy to experiment with placing pegs single layer, and the second time stacking them really tall & he finally decided to climb on the table and stack all 25 in a tall tower.
I let him do 7 sit-ups (pull himself up with me holding his hands) as well as wheelbarrow a little in the living room.
It was tiring but we had fun!
After dinner, I tried quite a number of sequential activities working on Dylan's turn-taking objective. I find that he's still either so impatient with my slowing down the process of putting toy coins into the slot (sequential parallel) and wants to take over all of it, or he runs off now & then when we played with fitting pegs when we took turns with the sender-receiver roles. Thankfully, he does come back shortly even at times when I don't run after him. When I'm the receiver, he doesn't seem to get it that he's to pass the peg to me rather than press it into the foam board, so at this point, I have to obstruct his attempts to take over my role or to grab a bunch of coins/pegs at one go. He did seem to like looking at my placements which was in coloured rows. Being receiver, he's quite happy to experiment with placing pegs single layer, and the second time stacking them really tall & he finally decided to climb on the table and stack all 25 in a tall tower.
I let him do 7 sit-ups (pull himself up with me holding his hands) as well as wheelbarrow a little in the living room.
It was tiring but we had fun!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Indirect prompts; Stair-climbing
Today, after Dylan woke from his nap, when he's still very sleepy, Mel brought him to the toilet & shortly afterwards, announced that "Dylan did 3 things without me telling him." She had removed his pull-up diaper, and just said "hnh" while holding it and Dylan took it to dispose in the bin in the kitchen. She then pointed to his T shirt & shorts on the floor and did the same and he picked them up and dropped them in the pail. Wow! Nice indirect prompts and it works!
Yesterday, Dylan's sleep was topsy turvy - after returning from AAS, instead of napping as he usually does, he instead got excited and jumped around- might have got to do with his grandma (po-po) being with him. But anyway since he missed his nap, I rushed home as he would likely fall asleep early. Did some regulatory activities like I give him block, he stack into tower, and then reverse. I note he's more accepting of the receiver role, but when he's the sender, he tends to want to take over my role to stack as well.
After dinner, Jurgen & I took him for a walk + climb stairs. The climbing downstairs was very tough as he hardly looks out for signals from us (we took turns) but instead was very floppy, just extending his foot whichever way he fancies and leaning way forward! At times, it's rather dangerous! Anyway, at times I loosened my grip when he's standing upright and not hold him too much, then in fact he could walk down and follow my lead better. But overall, it was a very tedious session - 15 minutes for 1 flight at times. Thankfully, he does not just throw a big tantrum but allowed us to continue with him.
In view of his tiredness, we gave him an easier time on the walk and a nice break at the playground before returning home.
Yesterday, Dylan's sleep was topsy turvy - after returning from AAS, instead of napping as he usually does, he instead got excited and jumped around- might have got to do with his grandma (po-po) being with him. But anyway since he missed his nap, I rushed home as he would likely fall asleep early. Did some regulatory activities like I give him block, he stack into tower, and then reverse. I note he's more accepting of the receiver role, but when he's the sender, he tends to want to take over my role to stack as well.
After dinner, Jurgen & I took him for a walk + climb stairs. The climbing downstairs was very tough as he hardly looks out for signals from us (we took turns) but instead was very floppy, just extending his foot whichever way he fancies and leaning way forward! At times, it's rather dangerous! Anyway, at times I loosened my grip when he's standing upright and not hold him too much, then in fact he could walk down and follow my lead better. But overall, it was a very tedious session - 15 minutes for 1 flight at times. Thankfully, he does not just throw a big tantrum but allowed us to continue with him.
In view of his tiredness, we gave him an easier time on the walk and a nice break at the playground before returning home.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Sunday woes
Today Dylan seemed to have gotten off the wrong side of bed - cried/tantrummed quite a bit since morning for being refused fried chicken which was prepared for lunch. Oh boy, it's such a tiring day - happens whenever Dylan has difficulty falling asleep for nap, climbing all over me. He also bumped his forehead as he was tired but struggled. So I rented a carcoop car thinking he will surely fall asleep on the way to Botanic Gardens, but he was quite excited throughout the journey (also meddling with the aircon & other controls like windscreen wiper) and only fell asleep in his stroller when we finally reached Palm Valley for the Jazz concert. Nice vocals and music but he slept through it, while Jurgen and I relaxed and munched on satays & cheese nachos.
After concert was over, I woke him & got him to walk a little. Indeed he was more alert when walking on the elevated stretch of seat surrounding the concert stage. Then he was much happier, and cooperated even when it got dark and held on to my hand, later Dad's, nicely walking. He was particularly excited when we were at the waterfalls - glad that he was able to walk through, and followed my lead, without becoming fixated.
Overall, not so easy to engage today, but also not so bad.
After concert was over, I woke him & got him to walk a little. Indeed he was more alert when walking on the elevated stretch of seat surrounding the concert stage. Then he was much happier, and cooperated even when it got dark and held on to my hand, later Dad's, nicely walking. He was particularly excited when we were at the waterfalls - glad that he was able to walk through, and followed my lead, without becoming fixated.
Overall, not so easy to engage today, but also not so bad.
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