The past Saturday morning I had to attend to a work-related discussion & unfortunately Juergen was not feeling too well, hence Dylan did not have the physical activities that would exhaust him, so he napped late & couldn't wake in time for RDI. The session didn't go too well initially but thankfully the last segment, he got the hang of taking on his role to monitor us and putting coins into angpows. At the moment, if I slow down too much (eg. intentionally take longer to open the angpow), he may disconnect & zip off. Great activity to work on his objective & am sure he'll develop greater resilience soon. I noted Gen's advice for us to do more sender-receiver with Dylan so that we can gradually move away from having to rely on physical activities to regulate him.
In the evening, he took on his role well to take toy coins from me to keep. Nice!
Sunday we had our weekly swim & it rained after a short while of his getting in the pool, we had to wait it out. At an earlier point he had tried to run off & I brought him to sit with us for 2 minutes -I'm quite glad now he's able to sit out the time I impose. In fact, as we were then told the club rule doesn't allow us to be in the pool once the siren sounds, I'm glad he doesn't put up a fight but waited it out, wrapped in a huge towel. This is a far cry from the past when it would have been impossible to expect him to sit out for the rain to stop.
We were later able to get him to engage and take /pass a ball with Daddy, with scaffolding from me (hence not filmed). Other than the usual jumping in the pool together, I also upped the challenge & tried out walking with him to different parts of the pool prior to jumping in together & he willingly participated. It's really quite nice to see even as his feet were at the edge of the pool, that he would walk off with mommy, trusting that we will have fun together!
After the 2 1/2 hr long swimming outing (with relaxing time at the jaccuzi & sitting out the rain), he had a 3 hr nap & he woke really happy. That evening, after dinner, he took on his role to take pieces of his toy train set from Daddy to keep in the box before we went for our walk.
The last 2 nights we also had a good time - shooting some hoops at the basketball court. While initially he kept trying to run off to the playground, with some playful obstructions from me, he started to enjoy just hanging out at the court (often running around & enjoying the breeze) & even tried shooting at the hoop by placing the ball above his head (though it goes straight down), as well as passing the basketball to Daddy. He feels more comfortable to walk over & pass it into Dad's hands rather than throwing to him. And when I use a lighter ball to toss on the ground toward him, he actually managed to catch it successfully without help a couple of times. Cool!
He also enjoyed very much sitting on Dad's shoulders & tossing the ball towards the hoop, & also watching Dad/I toss.
Anyway, I'm really glad that Juergen joins us much more than before (even when he's quite tired) & I can really see Dylan enjoying his company.
On Monday, he managed without too much effort to walk from the MRT station to AAS (about 15 mins), even managing his trolley bag quite well but the return journey was more tricky as he got tired & I had to use his favourite olive cracker to lure him. Also, when we reached Tiong Bahru station & out of the gantry, he stopped mid-track (not unusual but I just wait a little ahead) and suddenly decided to abandon his bag & ran away from me. As it's rather crowded & he got out of my sight, I dashed in toward the station control from another gate, but I couldn't see him & as I dashed back out, I saw that he was running back towards where I was when he zipped off. Thank God! Also, to me, this is a good sign he realised Mommy's missing.
In school, Dylan still has wee accidents and I'm looking forward to his increased awareness & progressing in this area, which I'm confident will come.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Initiative
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I fetched Dylan from school & went home to work in the afternoon. During the evening walk, Dylan was again mostly able to monitor my actions, as I vary my speed of walking. At one point, when he plonked himself outside a school to touch the the bumpy texture, after perhaps a minute of my standing in a short distance & he didn't move toward me, I made a "Oops" sound, he looked up for a moment but didn't come toward me, so I said "let's go" and started moving further away from him, & he got up & followed me. Yeah!
Today is even better, we spent a long time in Botanic Gardens, feeding fish & walking/running. He did pretty nicely mostly, but initially got me so upset by eating fish food & also sticking his hand into the fish pond even as I told him not to touch the water & to only throw the fish food in. His standing/running too near the edge of swan lake later also got me nervous. But as I sat to ask myself why I should be so upset over his nibbling some fishfood & touching the water, whether what he did is really such a big deal, I relaxed and started to enjoy the walk. Also I realised part of my annoyance came from my disappointment that my friend & her kid who agreed to meet up couldn't join us. There were various points I was walking really fast (in agitation) & he ran to keep pace with me without resistance, and as I slowed down, I can see his monitoring increasing.
We also had a good relaxed time at the cafe where he enjoyed the pasta (without the gravy) & dipping excessive amounts of ketchup with his chicken nuggets & fries.
Before we reached home, he fell asleep. He had a peaceful nap, and a couple of times he opened his eyes when I was at the bed & he just closed his eyes again. Once he got up & went into my room quietly to look for me & settled back to sleep when I carried him back to his bed. This is different from the crying that was previously common.
The best situation was when we were about to go out (to my parents' place for my Dad's 72nd birthday dinner) & I helped him put on his new shoes. I then put on 1 of my sports shoes but as the other one was behind him & I couldn't reach it, I suggested for him to stand up so I could get it. But without prompting, he looked at the shoe I had on & turned around & reached out for the matching shoe next to him, and gave it to me! I was elated by his increased observation and monitoring & most of all his initiative to take action! I thanked & hugged & praised him & he looked really pleased! What a great moment!
My siblings also comment on Dylan's increased regulation & sociability, smiling at his uncles & aunts & hugging some of his cousins - he's particularly keen to hug 2 of them, a 6-year-old girl & a 9 year old boy.
However, on the MRT train, particularly for one that's crowded & a long ride (16 stations to Pasir Ris), he still has not so appropriate behaviours, in that he doesn't sit still, moving around & sometimes accidentally hit the person sitting next to us with a suddenly flung out arm, being noisy & tapping surfaces loudly etc. Thankfully, he enjoys the ride now, unlike in the past when he could cry most of the journey or run around wildly & refusing to settle down. Now, I'm able to calm him by letting him do some beading sitting on my lap, and when the train is less crowded & we each have a seat, to let him do a puzzle. I also brought a book but it didn't keep him engaged.
Anyway, it would be great to see more of the type of initiative he showed today passing me my shoe.
Today is even better, we spent a long time in Botanic Gardens, feeding fish & walking/running. He did pretty nicely mostly, but initially got me so upset by eating fish food & also sticking his hand into the fish pond even as I told him not to touch the water & to only throw the fish food in. His standing/running too near the edge of swan lake later also got me nervous. But as I sat to ask myself why I should be so upset over his nibbling some fishfood & touching the water, whether what he did is really such a big deal, I relaxed and started to enjoy the walk. Also I realised part of my annoyance came from my disappointment that my friend & her kid who agreed to meet up couldn't join us. There were various points I was walking really fast (in agitation) & he ran to keep pace with me without resistance, and as I slowed down, I can see his monitoring increasing.
We also had a good relaxed time at the cafe where he enjoyed the pasta (without the gravy) & dipping excessive amounts of ketchup with his chicken nuggets & fries.
Before we reached home, he fell asleep. He had a peaceful nap, and a couple of times he opened his eyes when I was at the bed & he just closed his eyes again. Once he got up & went into my room quietly to look for me & settled back to sleep when I carried him back to his bed. This is different from the crying that was previously common.
The best situation was when we were about to go out (to my parents' place for my Dad's 72nd birthday dinner) & I helped him put on his new shoes. I then put on 1 of my sports shoes but as the other one was behind him & I couldn't reach it, I suggested for him to stand up so I could get it. But without prompting, he looked at the shoe I had on & turned around & reached out for the matching shoe next to him, and gave it to me! I was elated by his increased observation and monitoring & most of all his initiative to take action! I thanked & hugged & praised him & he looked really pleased! What a great moment!
My siblings also comment on Dylan's increased regulation & sociability, smiling at his uncles & aunts & hugging some of his cousins - he's particularly keen to hug 2 of them, a 6-year-old girl & a 9 year old boy.
However, on the MRT train, particularly for one that's crowded & a long ride (16 stations to Pasir Ris), he still has not so appropriate behaviours, in that he doesn't sit still, moving around & sometimes accidentally hit the person sitting next to us with a suddenly flung out arm, being noisy & tapping surfaces loudly etc. Thankfully, he enjoys the ride now, unlike in the past when he could cry most of the journey or run around wildly & refusing to settle down. Now, I'm able to calm him by letting him do some beading sitting on my lap, and when the train is less crowded & we each have a seat, to let him do a puzzle. I also brought a book but it didn't keep him engaged.
Anyway, it would be great to see more of the type of initiative he showed today passing me my shoe.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
New Progress
Monday 7 Jan was Dylan's first day back at AAS & he was excited in seeing his teacher Ethan and the toys as well as work activities there. This semester he's attending morning class and generally most kids are older than the afternoon toddlers (avg age maybe 5-6 years vs the 3 year olds), and there are also more transitions between the 2 blocks & activities are cut into shorter blocks of time. Last year, he'll complete 1 1/2 hours in Block B (individual 1-on-1 time), then move on to Block A where he'll have snack time, pretend play/ activity (in the same room), followed by music & movement. Good thing he seems ok with the more frequent transitions, though he makes frequent stopovers for the toys, esp the bead structure. Also, for circle time, he still tends to stand up after only a short while, though he does sometimes attend, watching the teacher's action for the songs/ looking at the book & taking the foam number out to stick at another part.
After his first day in school, as I was on my last day of leave, I brought Dylan for a session of Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ) in the afternoon. Mel had asked me when we are next bringing Dylan for JSJ as both of us really find the daily home practice (which we were taught at the first session) really helping increase his regulation (also ability to fall asleep more easily) & awareness.
At the OT session on Monday, Sheralyn the OT also noted that Dylan seems more regulated and aware. In fact at one point when Sheralyn let him climb into the "stormcloud" (stretchy cloth hung up high), and let him bouce, counting "1, 2, 3", I heard him count "1, 2, 3" as well. But when Ethan & I went to see if he would continue counting, he went silent.
At home when playing & I was counting the pieces of puzzles we keep, to be sure we have all, I was counting to "16", and he said "senteen, ayteen". I was very pleased as he hasn't done this for a long time. In 2006, when he was taught by Ms Sherall in Genesis, he really enjoyed counting to 20.
Yesterday was Dylan's second day back attending AAS - Aunty Mel brought him there & back by MRT train & bus & whilst he was active, he was not unruly and can wait & generally agreeable to walk with aunty. For the 10 min walk from school to the MRT station, he does run out of steam & wish to be carried, but with some favourite olive crackers, he can go on. With me, other than using crackers as bait, I also make carrying him into a game, eg. when he really wants to be carried, I may say I will carry him after 50 steps & he would be OK with it. And as I carry him, I may say I'll carry him for 20/ 50 steps based on how tired he seems. Again when the no. of steps are over, he doesn't cling on tight as he used to but is agreeable to get on his feet to walk on. This is quite a pleasure!
Last night was a really nice walk. I initially started with a fast-paced walk down the stairs just to get out of vicinity of our unit, eg. I may walk quickly 8 steps, suddenly stop, then walk the last 2 steps very slowly. He'll overshoot & quickly discover it and makes a repair. Nice! Then I tried out not holding his hands at all when walking stairs. Initially he kept trying to hold my hand & when it's really out of reach, he holds on to my clothing. But at some point, he released his grasp but still monitors me. But before long, he gets excited & walks very quickly, regardless of me lagging behind eg. I may have walked only 2 steps & he's already done with 10 & wanting to continue. But as I stopped & sat down & made an audible sigh, I was really pleasantly surprised when after several seconds, he came back up the stairs to me & I was over the moon! New progress! I quickly wowed & kissed & said "great"!
It wasn't consistent though, when the run off happened again, I waited but soon he had descended several flights of stairs & as it was close to a lift-landing floor, I was worried he'll run into the lift on his own, so decided to go after him. When I got him, I held his hand and said I didn't like it that he ran off so far away.
Downstairs, he was really monitoring me very well walking too, till we came closer to his favourite mushroom stools at the void deck of a neighbouring block when he just ran up the stairs to the stools & climbed on one of the stools. I stood a distance away & intentionally looked sulky. While he didn't come running toward me, I thought I saw him look in my direction, and stopped for a while. I then walked over to lead him away, telling him that I didn't like that he ran off from mommy. He was OK and went with me. It was generally a pleasure this outing.
There was a point when we crossed the road, & one of his sandals loosened and fell off in the middle of the road & before we reached the other side, he tried kicking off the other sandal and I had to stop him but he had succeeded when we got across. I then noted the sandal in the middle of the road. Quite clearly, he goes based on sensory perception - that the sandals should both be on or both off, & he doesn't know the appropriate action to take. Anyway, we waited quite a while before there was no traffic & crossed the road with him barefooted, picked up the other shoe & put both on at the other side. Another inappropriate behaviour was at the playground when he saw a piece of chewed up red gum/ chewy sweet & was very quick to reach out for it wanting to take and stuff into his mouth. I managed to stop him plucking off the floor but not in time to stop him stuffing his sticky sweet fingers into his mouth. Once during our recent holiday in Vietnam, I was also horrified by him pulling a piece of chewed up gum from the ashtray of the trashbin and stuffing into his mouth & at that point I had my hands full with Juergen's laptop & some groceries. Anyway, I really look forward to him understanding the meaning of "dirty, don't touch!". Please advise if there are good strategies!
After his first day in school, as I was on my last day of leave, I brought Dylan for a session of Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ) in the afternoon. Mel had asked me when we are next bringing Dylan for JSJ as both of us really find the daily home practice (which we were taught at the first session) really helping increase his regulation (also ability to fall asleep more easily) & awareness.
At the OT session on Monday, Sheralyn the OT also noted that Dylan seems more regulated and aware. In fact at one point when Sheralyn let him climb into the "stormcloud" (stretchy cloth hung up high), and let him bouce, counting "1, 2, 3", I heard him count "1, 2, 3" as well. But when Ethan & I went to see if he would continue counting, he went silent.
At home when playing & I was counting the pieces of puzzles we keep, to be sure we have all, I was counting to "16", and he said "senteen, ayteen". I was very pleased as he hasn't done this for a long time. In 2006, when he was taught by Ms Sherall in Genesis, he really enjoyed counting to 20.
Yesterday was Dylan's second day back attending AAS - Aunty Mel brought him there & back by MRT train & bus & whilst he was active, he was not unruly and can wait & generally agreeable to walk with aunty. For the 10 min walk from school to the MRT station, he does run out of steam & wish to be carried, but with some favourite olive crackers, he can go on. With me, other than using crackers as bait, I also make carrying him into a game, eg. when he really wants to be carried, I may say I will carry him after 50 steps & he would be OK with it. And as I carry him, I may say I'll carry him for 20/ 50 steps based on how tired he seems. Again when the no. of steps are over, he doesn't cling on tight as he used to but is agreeable to get on his feet to walk on. This is quite a pleasure!
Last night was a really nice walk. I initially started with a fast-paced walk down the stairs just to get out of vicinity of our unit, eg. I may walk quickly 8 steps, suddenly stop, then walk the last 2 steps very slowly. He'll overshoot & quickly discover it and makes a repair. Nice! Then I tried out not holding his hands at all when walking stairs. Initially he kept trying to hold my hand & when it's really out of reach, he holds on to my clothing. But at some point, he released his grasp but still monitors me. But before long, he gets excited & walks very quickly, regardless of me lagging behind eg. I may have walked only 2 steps & he's already done with 10 & wanting to continue. But as I stopped & sat down & made an audible sigh, I was really pleasantly surprised when after several seconds, he came back up the stairs to me & I was over the moon! New progress! I quickly wowed & kissed & said "great"!
It wasn't consistent though, when the run off happened again, I waited but soon he had descended several flights of stairs & as it was close to a lift-landing floor, I was worried he'll run into the lift on his own, so decided to go after him. When I got him, I held his hand and said I didn't like it that he ran off so far away.
Downstairs, he was really monitoring me very well walking too, till we came closer to his favourite mushroom stools at the void deck of a neighbouring block when he just ran up the stairs to the stools & climbed on one of the stools. I stood a distance away & intentionally looked sulky. While he didn't come running toward me, I thought I saw him look in my direction, and stopped for a while. I then walked over to lead him away, telling him that I didn't like that he ran off from mommy. He was OK and went with me. It was generally a pleasure this outing.
There was a point when we crossed the road, & one of his sandals loosened and fell off in the middle of the road & before we reached the other side, he tried kicking off the other sandal and I had to stop him but he had succeeded when we got across. I then noted the sandal in the middle of the road. Quite clearly, he goes based on sensory perception - that the sandals should both be on or both off, & he doesn't know the appropriate action to take. Anyway, we waited quite a while before there was no traffic & crossed the road with him barefooted, picked up the other shoe & put both on at the other side. Another inappropriate behaviour was at the playground when he saw a piece of chewed up red gum/ chewy sweet & was very quick to reach out for it wanting to take and stuff into his mouth. I managed to stop him plucking off the floor but not in time to stop him stuffing his sticky sweet fingers into his mouth. Once during our recent holiday in Vietnam, I was also horrified by him pulling a piece of chewed up gum from the ashtray of the trashbin and stuffing into his mouth & at that point I had my hands full with Juergen's laptop & some groceries. Anyway, I really look forward to him understanding the meaning of "dirty, don't touch!". Please advise if there are good strategies!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Vietnam Holiday 20-30 Dec 2007
This vacation was planned by Juergen, with the primary purpose of attending his Vietnamese colleague's wedding on Christmas day in Ho Chi Minh city. We're there 11days 10 nights and need to move 5 times(!), so I was prepared for the worst as Dylan usually doesn't settle to sleep well on the first night in a new place. Usually he's all excited and go exploring every nook & crany and jump a lot. So when the first night, notwithstanding walking quite a lot, he couldn't sleep till 1am (midnite local time), I wasn't surprised. But by 4.30am (3.30 Vietnam time) he was already awake & ready to go out - he tried & actually managed to open the room door but thankfully, he came to hold me by my hands to go out with him, rather than just run off as previously had done.
Anyway, thankfully, the subsequent nights he slept well, even as we moved every 2-3 nights.
During the vacation, I continued him on his Samonas auditory therapy, as well as RDI objectives. For Samonas, Dylan listens to the nocturne CD for 10 mins twice a day. He enjoys the music. But as the same CD has been listened to for rather long, already 5-6 weeks, he sometimes try to remove the headphones before the time is up. Thankfully, after I had to send the headphone for repair & chided him for throwing it on the floor, even when he removes it, he's gentler now. Anyway, I decided to use the random play mode & saw renewed interest. I notice during change of music, he sits up & appear to actively listen for a while before going back to playing his puzzle or eating.
As mentioned before, Dylan had a crying spree & exhibited much insecurity (often before falling asleep & right after waking up) for quite a while prior to starting his nocturne CD, but this insecurity can be traced to Daddy's being away for > a week on business trip, followed by my business trip for 3 days (7-9 Nov 07). We perceived he had some feelings of being abandoned and acted like he didn't want our attention when we just returned. Thankfully, he's over that and has gained confidence and sense of security since before we went on a holiday on 20 Dec and even more so during the 11 day vacation as he surprised us in his ability to settle to sleep easily (except the very first nite) despite our various moves to different places. He was also mostly happy, except a 2 day period during day 2 & 3 when he cried during dinner times.
His ability to focus and stay on task increased in duration. He is now able to complete various types of 24 piece puzzles (large floor puzzle as well as smaller ones from a puzzle story book), often in 3-4 minutes but he will remove a few pieces and put them back to relive the joy/ thrill of his success! Apart from Samonas & RDI (relationship development intervention), we're also doing jin shin jyutsu (or JSJ, a gentle yet very supportive healing touch /energy work) for him.
Overall, without being able to pinpoint whether it's due to the Samonas music (nocturne CD), RDI or JSJ, his confidence and regulation and level of awareness has increased quite considerably.
On 7 Jan, 08, during OT with Sheralyn, and she was counting the no. of times he's bouncing on the stormcloud, he also counted "1, 2, 3" very clearly. Another time, when I was counting the no. of pieces of puzzles we were keeping to make sure we have all, as I counted 15, 16, he said "senteen, ayteen". I was really pleased in his interest to participate and verbalise. I really hope that he would develop his keenness to communicate, esp using verbal communication.
He's also keener & more able to monitor my actions and adjust his to coordinate, & there would be occasions I need not run after him but he realise he's disconnected & come back to me. Sometimes he'll even try to keep up when I move fast & slow or back & forth. But not all then time or when there's highly distracting objects like water fountain/ waterfall when we walk etc.
While Dylan is beginning to be more interested in others, eg. smiling at & hugging his cousins & neighbours, he has quite a bit of inappropriate touching, eg. just touching strangers' hair / clothes in the bus, or tapping/drumming on neighbours tummy as he enters the lift / just sticking his hand out to touch as people come our way. Hope that he would develop a better appreciation & respect others' personal space.
Anyway, thankfully, the subsequent nights he slept well, even as we moved every 2-3 nights.
During the vacation, I continued him on his Samonas auditory therapy, as well as RDI objectives. For Samonas, Dylan listens to the nocturne CD for 10 mins twice a day. He enjoys the music. But as the same CD has been listened to for rather long, already 5-6 weeks, he sometimes try to remove the headphones before the time is up. Thankfully, after I had to send the headphone for repair & chided him for throwing it on the floor, even when he removes it, he's gentler now. Anyway, I decided to use the random play mode & saw renewed interest. I notice during change of music, he sits up & appear to actively listen for a while before going back to playing his puzzle or eating.
As mentioned before, Dylan had a crying spree & exhibited much insecurity (often before falling asleep & right after waking up) for quite a while prior to starting his nocturne CD, but this insecurity can be traced to Daddy's being away for > a week on business trip, followed by my business trip for 3 days (7-9 Nov 07). We perceived he had some feelings of being abandoned and acted like he didn't want our attention when we just returned. Thankfully, he's over that and has gained confidence and sense of security since before we went on a holiday on 20 Dec and even more so during the 11 day vacation as he surprised us in his ability to settle to sleep easily (except the very first nite) despite our various moves to different places. He was also mostly happy, except a 2 day period during day 2 & 3 when he cried during dinner times.
His ability to focus and stay on task increased in duration. He is now able to complete various types of 24 piece puzzles (large floor puzzle as well as smaller ones from a puzzle story book), often in 3-4 minutes but he will remove a few pieces and put them back to relive the joy/ thrill of his success! Apart from Samonas & RDI (relationship development intervention), we're also doing jin shin jyutsu (or JSJ, a gentle yet very supportive healing touch /energy work) for him.
Overall, without being able to pinpoint whether it's due to the Samonas music (nocturne CD), RDI or JSJ, his confidence and regulation and level of awareness has increased quite considerably.
On 7 Jan, 08, during OT with Sheralyn, and she was counting the no. of times he's bouncing on the stormcloud, he also counted "1, 2, 3" very clearly. Another time, when I was counting the no. of pieces of puzzles we were keeping to make sure we have all, as I counted 15, 16, he said "senteen, ayteen". I was really pleased in his interest to participate and verbalise. I really hope that he would develop his keenness to communicate, esp using verbal communication.
He's also keener & more able to monitor my actions and adjust his to coordinate, & there would be occasions I need not run after him but he realise he's disconnected & come back to me. Sometimes he'll even try to keep up when I move fast & slow or back & forth. But not all then time or when there's highly distracting objects like water fountain/ waterfall when we walk etc.
While Dylan is beginning to be more interested in others, eg. smiling at & hugging his cousins & neighbours, he has quite a bit of inappropriate touching, eg. just touching strangers' hair / clothes in the bus, or tapping/drumming on neighbours tummy as he enters the lift / just sticking his hand out to touch as people come our way. Hope that he would develop a better appreciation & respect others' personal space.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Alas, crying's not finished, yet!
So after Oma has seen Dylan in such positive light for a couple of days, she gets to experience his crying / drama too.
SWIMMING FUN
On Sunday after church, we went to our usual Keppel club swimming. Dylan was of course elated and couldn't wait so I changed him first and he started playing in the wading pool first. However, as I returned after having changed to my swimming costume, I found Dad bringing him back. He had run off to the jacuzzi which is at the far end up a slope on his own! As Dad let go of his hand when they reached the kids' pool, he again made a run for it. So when they came back, I told him as he did not stop but ran off on his own, he'll have to sit for 5 minutes. He sat with us (my hand on his lap), and he didn't struggle much, and decided to eat a little with us. Subsequently after swimming with me using swimming noodles to the far end, he again tried running off, and did not respond to my demand for him to "stop", I ran after him & we sat down for 5 mins as his time-out. He accepted it.
I noticed that when I walked to the jacuzzi with him, and he's way ahead and pulling me & I stop, even though it's a place he's so keen on, he stops and considers a while, and backtrack to join me. Must say this would not have been possible in the past. Also, despite not having armbands, he's confident to jump into the water with me. We didn't film this, but as I stop and decided to go to another spot to jump, he goes along, and didn't struggle.
After we swam and soaked in the jacuzzi, and we thought for sure he would have a good nap when we went home and he has his rice milk, but he didn't after an hour. So I decided we shall all go shopping, since Oma had requested.
RESTAURANT DRAMA
Not too unexpectedly, he fell asleep (notwithstanding the noise) in his old stroller which has been tucked away for months. So we could shop easily. But the unfortunate thing was he slept from 6-8pm, and as he woke in a Japanese restaurant, he started crying, very loudly. He screamed his lungs out & wanted to be carried, and not allow me to sit down. He also pulled my bag and shove into my hands, indicating I should take it and go out. No amount of huddling would stop the crying, so I had no choice but to bring him out, and he continued the frantic crying for another 30 minutes. I tried praying with him/ for him & it didn't stop. I noticed unlike in the past, I don't feel desperate and know the storm will tide over, in his time. I hushed him and hugged his head to me, but I told him I can't carry him till he calms down and stop crying. I told him not to be scared, although we're in a different place, mommy's here, and that only he can calm himself down.
Finally as his crying ease off, I brought him to walk some stairs, to be sure he's stable. It helps greatly and he finally broke into big smiles and we returned to the restaurant. Though he didn't eat much, as the tempura ordered for him is no longer crispy, and we ordered something else for him, he looked happy and kept looking over the other table, and in Oma's word, was flirting with a little girl.
Then last night, notwithstanding a great time playing 2 new 24-piece puzzles and a nice walk with me and Oma, he again cried very hard for half an hour at bedtime, and only slept at 1am.
Oh by the way, I only discovered on Sunday that his headphones are damaged (no sound on the right). No wonder he rejects them. Got them fixed yesterday (cost $55 - ouch! but thankfully the Sennheiser service personnel are very helpful) and hopefully now the Samonas therapy (Nocturne) can help him with sense of security.
Awaiting for the storm to be fully over!
SWIMMING FUN
On Sunday after church, we went to our usual Keppel club swimming. Dylan was of course elated and couldn't wait so I changed him first and he started playing in the wading pool first. However, as I returned after having changed to my swimming costume, I found Dad bringing him back. He had run off to the jacuzzi which is at the far end up a slope on his own! As Dad let go of his hand when they reached the kids' pool, he again made a run for it. So when they came back, I told him as he did not stop but ran off on his own, he'll have to sit for 5 minutes. He sat with us (my hand on his lap), and he didn't struggle much, and decided to eat a little with us. Subsequently after swimming with me using swimming noodles to the far end, he again tried running off, and did not respond to my demand for him to "stop", I ran after him & we sat down for 5 mins as his time-out. He accepted it.
I noticed that when I walked to the jacuzzi with him, and he's way ahead and pulling me & I stop, even though it's a place he's so keen on, he stops and considers a while, and backtrack to join me. Must say this would not have been possible in the past. Also, despite not having armbands, he's confident to jump into the water with me. We didn't film this, but as I stop and decided to go to another spot to jump, he goes along, and didn't struggle.
After we swam and soaked in the jacuzzi, and we thought for sure he would have a good nap when we went home and he has his rice milk, but he didn't after an hour. So I decided we shall all go shopping, since Oma had requested.
RESTAURANT DRAMA
Not too unexpectedly, he fell asleep (notwithstanding the noise) in his old stroller which has been tucked away for months. So we could shop easily. But the unfortunate thing was he slept from 6-8pm, and as he woke in a Japanese restaurant, he started crying, very loudly. He screamed his lungs out & wanted to be carried, and not allow me to sit down. He also pulled my bag and shove into my hands, indicating I should take it and go out. No amount of huddling would stop the crying, so I had no choice but to bring him out, and he continued the frantic crying for another 30 minutes. I tried praying with him/ for him & it didn't stop. I noticed unlike in the past, I don't feel desperate and know the storm will tide over, in his time. I hushed him and hugged his head to me, but I told him I can't carry him till he calms down and stop crying. I told him not to be scared, although we're in a different place, mommy's here, and that only he can calm himself down.
Finally as his crying ease off, I brought him to walk some stairs, to be sure he's stable. It helps greatly and he finally broke into big smiles and we returned to the restaurant. Though he didn't eat much, as the tempura ordered for him is no longer crispy, and we ordered something else for him, he looked happy and kept looking over the other table, and in Oma's word, was flirting with a little girl.
Then last night, notwithstanding a great time playing 2 new 24-piece puzzles and a nice walk with me and Oma, he again cried very hard for half an hour at bedtime, and only slept at 1am.
Oh by the way, I only discovered on Sunday that his headphones are damaged (no sound on the right). No wonder he rejects them. Got them fixed yesterday (cost $55 - ouch! but thankfully the Sennheiser service personnel are very helpful) and hopefully now the Samonas therapy (Nocturne) can help him with sense of security.
Awaiting for the storm to be fully over!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
New Progress & Oma's visit
After the last "spiritual experience" /episode I wrote about, the following day (4 Dec) Dylan had another crying episode. This time we were trying to get him interested in riding on the bike, now that we managed to pump the deflated tires with the new pump. However he wasn't interested. Mel & I brought him downstairs, thinking he will for sure recall the fun he had on it before. He was quite crazy over it when we just bought the bikes. But whether it's me cycling circling around, or Mel, it just didn't get him excited. So we gave it up & I requested Mel to bring the bike home & it's time with mommy to go walking. He started feeling insecure & started to cry.
He really wanted to go home but followed me up the flight of stairs towards the community club where there's a favourite playground nearby, still crying. He kept running back about 10 steps from me towards our block, but came back to me when I didn't follow him. After crying about half an hour at the nearby exercise corner, I thought he needed to go wee-wee so suggested bringing him to the community club toilet, but he didn't want to go. Then I said I needed to go and please to let me go, even if he didn't need to. First he prevented me, but when he saw that I was still going, he followed me, holding my t-shirt, and stopped crying. We then actually managed to have a nice short walk, and I gave him a short break at another playground.
From that day onwards, there's no more major crying episodes. Hallelujah! I'm so glad also as Juergen's mom is coming over on 14 Dec to stay with us for 3 weeks, and what trauma it would be for her if he continues like this! But thank God he feels secure again, and particpates keenly on our walk and stair-climbing again!
But we do have a new issue since the previous RDI on 1 Dec when we fed the swans & tortoises, as Dylan thinks it's fun to throw things - on that day he threw his chewy tube/hammer which the tortoises tried to covet & which Juergen and park-ranger so heroically retrieved, & he's thrown half-eaten sweet potato from the second floor of Vivo mall, in the cab, unknown stuff downstairs, smashed a bottle of medicine, when previously he would only knock gently on the floor to hear the sound etc. Anyway, we decided not to practice the throwing bread to feed exercise for sender-receiver framework for now.
Then Juergen also fed back to me one day (after Dylan's unsuccessful speech assessment on 11 Dec at AAS, unsuccessful as he was unwilling/unable to point to pictures of objects he's asked to identify, although he did quite consistently pick out the right toys for the assessor) of how much imperative speech & scolding I was into, saying ouch when Dylan steps on me/pull my hair, sometimes going back to my old ways of talking non-stop that he suggested I record myself for half an hour. Anyway, I guess I couldn't accept immediately but realised it's a good thing he pointed that out so I could go back interacting with Dylan in a more reflected (& non-reactive) way. I also took the chance to tell him we really need & request him to be present (body, mind & spirit) with us more often, and I think it was well-taken.
I also had a sort of crisis as my attempt to arrange to work part-time at my current job doesn't seem to be feasible currently.
Since Mom's stay with us 2 days ago, everything's been generally good & peaceful. We have more meals together, and even though Dylan still rather stands on his seat to eat, he doesn't run off so often. We went to Sentosa for a beachside walk after dinner, on Mom's day of arrival, yesterday we went to McRitichie - good thing we gave up on the idea of doing 10km walk as Dylan wasn't really ready to walk long distances, and wanted to be carried quite shortly into the boardwalk.
The progress I noticed is that he's able to take more variations - like my jogging/running then suddenly stop. Sometimes he tries to initiate and run very fast I may go along for a short while, but if I find he's initiating and just expecting me to catch up, I would stop. When he also stops & realises he's ahead of me, he would think for a while & even be able to take 1 or 2 steps towards me! It's really great to see that!
Also at the beach, even though he really wanted to sit in the sand or step further into deeper waters but I stop him, and told him we cannot swim tonite - it's too dark & we're not prepared I told him, see, we have no swiming costume), he would restrain his urge and just stand at the edge of the waters, and kick water instead. He's really come a long way and I'm so proud of him!
Last nite at the exercise corner, I noticed he's much more willing to let me help him with the different exercises. Whereas previously he would run off the moment I come over to assist him. While he still sometimes want to touch say parts meant for the feet & I told him no, it's for stepping on, he would not persist in the touching but instead step on it. He's also more coordinated in the "rower" & even the exercise where one sits (he stands) & pull the handle bars down to raise oneself! He stayed regulated, and let's me help him push all the way down, as he's still not strong enough to go all the way.
The biggest bonus last night was that after a fun neighbourhood walk to the exercise corner & he's feeling really happy with himself, in the lift I squatted to be at eye-level with him & I told him how much I enjoyed the walk together with him, daddy & oma, & I told him I love him & I pucker my lips & say kiss, he leaned over and have his lips touch/kiss mine, & when he let go & I puckered my lips again, his again gave me his lips & this kissing (regulatory pattern) was repeated several times. I'm really elated!
Oh yes, almost forgot to update that since our first session at Jinshin Jyutsu (pronounced jitsu) on 8 Dec (before the RDI home visit session), Mel & I have been doing certain exercises with Dylan when he sleeps (exercise involves our holding a finger & toe 5 mins each till all 10 are done) & we can feel his pulses & I'm wondering if this has contributed to his improvement.
By the way, I also notice Dylan's repertoire of foods he eats increasing- in fact, last night I noted he's eating all the stuff in his plate, which is exactly as we are eating except for the raw veggie salad (beef, broccoli, sweet peas, mushrooms, brown rice) and not his usual faves of fried chicken. This is really great!
He really wanted to go home but followed me up the flight of stairs towards the community club where there's a favourite playground nearby, still crying. He kept running back about 10 steps from me towards our block, but came back to me when I didn't follow him. After crying about half an hour at the nearby exercise corner, I thought he needed to go wee-wee so suggested bringing him to the community club toilet, but he didn't want to go. Then I said I needed to go and please to let me go, even if he didn't need to. First he prevented me, but when he saw that I was still going, he followed me, holding my t-shirt, and stopped crying. We then actually managed to have a nice short walk, and I gave him a short break at another playground.
From that day onwards, there's no more major crying episodes. Hallelujah! I'm so glad also as Juergen's mom is coming over on 14 Dec to stay with us for 3 weeks, and what trauma it would be for her if he continues like this! But thank God he feels secure again, and particpates keenly on our walk and stair-climbing again!
But we do have a new issue since the previous RDI on 1 Dec when we fed the swans & tortoises, as Dylan thinks it's fun to throw things - on that day he threw his chewy tube/hammer which the tortoises tried to covet & which Juergen and park-ranger so heroically retrieved, & he's thrown half-eaten sweet potato from the second floor of Vivo mall, in the cab, unknown stuff downstairs, smashed a bottle of medicine, when previously he would only knock gently on the floor to hear the sound etc. Anyway, we decided not to practice the throwing bread to feed exercise for sender-receiver framework for now.
Then Juergen also fed back to me one day (after Dylan's unsuccessful speech assessment on 11 Dec at AAS, unsuccessful as he was unwilling/unable to point to pictures of objects he's asked to identify, although he did quite consistently pick out the right toys for the assessor) of how much imperative speech & scolding I was into, saying ouch when Dylan steps on me/pull my hair, sometimes going back to my old ways of talking non-stop that he suggested I record myself for half an hour. Anyway, I guess I couldn't accept immediately but realised it's a good thing he pointed that out so I could go back interacting with Dylan in a more reflected (& non-reactive) way. I also took the chance to tell him we really need & request him to be present (body, mind & spirit) with us more often, and I think it was well-taken.
I also had a sort of crisis as my attempt to arrange to work part-time at my current job doesn't seem to be feasible currently.
Since Mom's stay with us 2 days ago, everything's been generally good & peaceful. We have more meals together, and even though Dylan still rather stands on his seat to eat, he doesn't run off so often. We went to Sentosa for a beachside walk after dinner, on Mom's day of arrival, yesterday we went to McRitichie - good thing we gave up on the idea of doing 10km walk as Dylan wasn't really ready to walk long distances, and wanted to be carried quite shortly into the boardwalk.
The progress I noticed is that he's able to take more variations - like my jogging/running then suddenly stop. Sometimes he tries to initiate and run very fast I may go along for a short while, but if I find he's initiating and just expecting me to catch up, I would stop. When he also stops & realises he's ahead of me, he would think for a while & even be able to take 1 or 2 steps towards me! It's really great to see that!
Also at the beach, even though he really wanted to sit in the sand or step further into deeper waters but I stop him, and told him we cannot swim tonite - it's too dark & we're not prepared I told him, see, we have no swiming costume), he would restrain his urge and just stand at the edge of the waters, and kick water instead. He's really come a long way and I'm so proud of him!
Last nite at the exercise corner, I noticed he's much more willing to let me help him with the different exercises. Whereas previously he would run off the moment I come over to assist him. While he still sometimes want to touch say parts meant for the feet & I told him no, it's for stepping on, he would not persist in the touching but instead step on it. He's also more coordinated in the "rower" & even the exercise where one sits (he stands) & pull the handle bars down to raise oneself! He stayed regulated, and let's me help him push all the way down, as he's still not strong enough to go all the way.
The biggest bonus last night was that after a fun neighbourhood walk to the exercise corner & he's feeling really happy with himself, in the lift I squatted to be at eye-level with him & I told him how much I enjoyed the walk together with him, daddy & oma, & I told him I love him & I pucker my lips & say kiss, he leaned over and have his lips touch/kiss mine, & when he let go & I puckered my lips again, his again gave me his lips & this kissing (regulatory pattern) was repeated several times. I'm really elated!
Oh yes, almost forgot to update that since our first session at Jinshin Jyutsu (pronounced jitsu) on 8 Dec (before the RDI home visit session), Mel & I have been doing certain exercises with Dylan when he sleeps (exercise involves our holding a finger & toe 5 mins each till all 10 are done) & we can feel his pulses & I'm wondering if this has contributed to his improvement.
By the way, I also notice Dylan's repertoire of foods he eats increasing- in fact, last night I noted he's eating all the stuff in his plate, which is exactly as we are eating except for the raw veggie salad (beef, broccoli, sweet peas, mushrooms, brown rice) and not his usual faves of fried chicken. This is really great!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Peace after the storm
Last night I came home to find Dylan at the kitchen table, having eaten partially 4-5 pieces of fried chicken, and running off his high chair, and going off to grab another 2 (the last) from another plate. We subsequently moved his plate to the dining table to join me, and for a short while, it's really nice, as he also feeds himself using the spoon to shovel his rice. He likes the organic brown rice mixed with Nordic Natural Cod liver oil, and potassium salt (he'd be happy with regular salt too). Only issue is after sitting for a while, he likes to stand up and eat from the standing position, which is not only unsafe, and keep us on our guard to protect him from falling over, he also drops more food due to the longer distance for the food to reach his mouth. Then he really doesn't want to sit down due to the messy chair. Attempts to keep him seated results in struggles and he may even rather just jump off the chair & run off.
Anyway, as it seemed like he had enough, I turned on his previously favourite video, Richard Scary's Counting video but he decided to stay on to eat some more. After dinner, he went over with Mel to sit at the sofa to watch the rest of the video and became very interested, looking keenly, recalling and swaying to the music. He hasn't appeared the least interested in videos for a long time. And Mel's recent attempts to calm him using videos didn't work. After I'm done, I played with him, letting him do his favourite puzzles and later letting him swing - his preference is to lie on the swing on his tummy and kick very hard and swing really high. But last night when obstructed from swinging on the tummy (and told he can swing seated/ standing up), he cooperated quite readily and sat down, and looked at me very keenly as I pulled the swing seat towards me, and let go.
Anyway, as he woke early yesterday, and only slept on the bus journey home (waking upon reaching home), he got tired when it was past 8.30 pm. I tried to interested him to help me pump air in the bicycle tires so that we could ride it a while. But he started crying and calling for "Arty", wanting me to open the kitchen door which was locked. Then the crying escalated, as I firmly told him first he has to stop crying, and Aunty was doing housework in the kitchen. Now is time with mommy.
I tried to bring him to climb stairs to regulate him, and he did monitor me sometimes, but he continued crying. I told him I'll bring you home but first you have to calm down and stop crying, otherwise we cannot go home. Anyway, we ended up downstairs at the exercise corner -where he usually enjoys the monkey bar with my help, but he cried so loud and hard for an hour. In between when he's only sobbing & seems to be calming down, he actually wanted to do the monkey bar with my help. I'm not sure if he thought that's what I wanted him to do so let's get it out of the way so we can go home.
At various points I really felt at my wits' end - I could see some lower floor neighbours looking out the window & I think the whole 2 adjacent blocks can hear - we stay on the 21st floor & Mel could hear it loud and clear too. Anyway, at one point when I was trying to relax at the bench & he was standing on the bench facing me (so we were about eye-level), I could see he was frantic, with eyes looking all over, and I used my palms as blinders so he'll look at me. He still tried to look left & right upwards, but eventually looked into my eyes, I managed to get his attention to pray together. I asked him to pray after me: "Dear Jesus" & he said "dee jiser" and even though he didn't continue to imitate what I say afterwards asking Jesus to protect him & keep him safe and secure, he stopped his crying completely and was calm and at peace. After the prayer, I hugged him and assured him that I truly love him and I carried him upstairs. He rested his head very peacefully over my shoulder. There wasn't even sobbing vs earlier on when he continued to cry & scream even when I carried him. (When I told Jürgen about this amazing miracle, he called it Dylan's spiritual experience.)
Even when we reached home, he cooperated in letting me help him wash up and brush teeth and that night he was peaceful. After I washed up & came to join him to say a goodnite prayer, he let me huddle him, and wanted me to stay. It was kinda cute, when I or Mel raised our heads to talk to each other (as we were on two sides of Dylan), he wanted us both to lie down. At least I know he's not angry with me but accepts me and know that I love him. Thank God!
He slept well and woke without crying this morning, and he got a bonus, riding the cab to school (at least part of the jorney) with Daddy. Praying that this peace remains with him.
Anyway, as it seemed like he had enough, I turned on his previously favourite video, Richard Scary's Counting video but he decided to stay on to eat some more. After dinner, he went over with Mel to sit at the sofa to watch the rest of the video and became very interested, looking keenly, recalling and swaying to the music. He hasn't appeared the least interested in videos for a long time. And Mel's recent attempts to calm him using videos didn't work. After I'm done, I played with him, letting him do his favourite puzzles and later letting him swing - his preference is to lie on the swing on his tummy and kick very hard and swing really high. But last night when obstructed from swinging on the tummy (and told he can swing seated/ standing up), he cooperated quite readily and sat down, and looked at me very keenly as I pulled the swing seat towards me, and let go.
Anyway, as he woke early yesterday, and only slept on the bus journey home (waking upon reaching home), he got tired when it was past 8.30 pm. I tried to interested him to help me pump air in the bicycle tires so that we could ride it a while. But he started crying and calling for "Arty", wanting me to open the kitchen door which was locked. Then the crying escalated, as I firmly told him first he has to stop crying, and Aunty was doing housework in the kitchen. Now is time with mommy.
I tried to bring him to climb stairs to regulate him, and he did monitor me sometimes, but he continued crying. I told him I'll bring you home but first you have to calm down and stop crying, otherwise we cannot go home. Anyway, we ended up downstairs at the exercise corner -where he usually enjoys the monkey bar with my help, but he cried so loud and hard for an hour. In between when he's only sobbing & seems to be calming down, he actually wanted to do the monkey bar with my help. I'm not sure if he thought that's what I wanted him to do so let's get it out of the way so we can go home.
At various points I really felt at my wits' end - I could see some lower floor neighbours looking out the window & I think the whole 2 adjacent blocks can hear - we stay on the 21st floor & Mel could hear it loud and clear too. Anyway, at one point when I was trying to relax at the bench & he was standing on the bench facing me (so we were about eye-level), I could see he was frantic, with eyes looking all over, and I used my palms as blinders so he'll look at me. He still tried to look left & right upwards, but eventually looked into my eyes, I managed to get his attention to pray together. I asked him to pray after me: "Dear Jesus" & he said "dee jiser" and even though he didn't continue to imitate what I say afterwards asking Jesus to protect him & keep him safe and secure, he stopped his crying completely and was calm and at peace. After the prayer, I hugged him and assured him that I truly love him and I carried him upstairs. He rested his head very peacefully over my shoulder. There wasn't even sobbing vs earlier on when he continued to cry & scream even when I carried him. (When I told Jürgen about this amazing miracle, he called it Dylan's spiritual experience.)
Even when we reached home, he cooperated in letting me help him wash up and brush teeth and that night he was peaceful. After I washed up & came to join him to say a goodnite prayer, he let me huddle him, and wanted me to stay. It was kinda cute, when I or Mel raised our heads to talk to each other (as we were on two sides of Dylan), he wanted us both to lie down. At least I know he's not angry with me but accepts me and know that I love him. Thank God!
He slept well and woke without crying this morning, and he got a bonus, riding the cab to school (at least part of the jorney) with Daddy. Praying that this peace remains with him.
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